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“Relax, buddy!” Shelly screamed. “We’re having a moment, here!”
“Let’s get out of here,” I said, pulling away from Brody. “Before she kills somebody.”
I fastened my seatbelt in the backseat. I swiped open my phone to tap out a text to let Chase know I had landed safely. I stared at the blinking cursor, unsure of what to say. Words seemed futile when compared to the pain I had just caused him.
Shelly talked the entire ride home, which I did not mind for once. I needed something else to focus on other than the giant hole in my chest. When we arrived at my apartment, I stared up at the Brooks’ house.
Shelly turned around in her seat to look at me. “I already spoke to Beverly. She’s expecting you. I figured you wouldn’t want to explain it after a day like today.”
“Thanks. I hadn’t quite figured out what to say to her. I’m so embarrassed.”
Brody’s eyes looked at me in the rearview mirror. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. She will understand all of it. She’ll be thankful you’re okay, and that you’re making the right choice.”
“Am I?” I asked.
“Did you stay in California and turn into a raging alcoholic?” Shelly asked rhetorically. “You’re making the right choice.”
I unbuckled myself. “Thanks for picking me up, guys.”
“Want me to stay over tonight?” Shelly asked.
“No. Thanks, though. I’ll call you in the morning.”
Khloe was waiting at the door as I walked up the driveway. Beverly was behind her, with her usual warm smile spread across her face.
I walked through the door as Tanner trotted down the stairs. “Welcome home, sis.”
Khloe jumped into my arms. “Merry! I missed you so much!”
I squeezed her so tight that she let out a puff of air from her tiny mouth. “Not as much as I missed you!”
“Mommy said I have to go to bed now because it’s late, but I will see you soon, right?”
“Right.”
Tanner held out his hand. “Let’s go, squirt.”
“Can you give me a piggyback ride, Tan-Tan?”
“Only if you stop calling me Tan-Tan.” He knelt down, and she jumped onto his back like a koala bear. It was comforting to know that everything was exactly the way I had left it.
Beverly watched and waited for her two children to disappear into Khloe’s bedroom. As soon as the door closed, she turned to me and opened her arms.
Without hesitation, I flung myself into her embrace. She hugged me as I sobbed.
“I’m so sorry I let you down,” I said.
“Are you crazy? You didn’t let me down. Why would you say such a thing?”
“You were counting on me to take care of Chase, and I failed.”
“I don’t want you to take care of Chase if it means that you don’t take care of yourself!”
While she was hugging me, my eyes settled on the wine rack in the dining room. A knot in my stomach formed, and twisted with desire. I knew that if I had something to drink, it would help to calm me down. I told myself that I needed something to get me through the first night without Chase; I just needed something to make me feel better I told myself this would be the last time.
I pulled away from Beverly, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “Can I please have a few tissues?”
“Of course.” She disappeared into the hallway.
