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“I really don’t know. Everything going on with you and Chase lately really has me thinking.”
“About what?”
“About life. How are you and Chase going to make this work when you’re on opposite sides of the country? Is your relationship strong enough to withstand the distance? What if you guys grow apart? What if he meets someone else? What if you meet someone else? You know the saying: out of sight, out of mind.”
“Get to your point quickly, please,” I warned.
“When I think about your future, it makes me think about mine. Where will life take me? Where will it take Brody? We’ve always been in the same spot our entire lives. We’ve never had to go through any hardships. What if this isn’t it for us? What if we’re meant to be with other people?”
“You’ve been in love with each other since you were ten. There’s no one else in this world that you’re meant to be with. You’ve withstood the test of time, which is so hard to do. You’re perfect for each other.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I know how much he loves you. I have watched it my entire life. He stood by you through everything with your dad, and he’s stood by me through everything with mine. He is the best person I know – nobody else out there could ever compare to Brody. I’ve seen how much you love him, too, Shell. You would be lost without him.”
Tears began to well up in her eyes. “Am I awful for thinking this way?”
“Not at all. It’s normal to wonder about all the what-ifs in life. It’s especially normal to worry when you’re nearing the end of college. It means that your childhood is officially over, and you have to be a grown-up. It’s terrifying.”
“All my life, I’ve never imagined being with anyone else. It’s always been Brody. Now, he’s talking about getting engaged, and taking the next step… what if I’m not ready to be married, yet?”
“You live together. What’s the difference if you have a ring on your finger? It’s all the same. Just with a different last name.”
“It’s just so… final.”
“Death is final. Marriage is reversible. But you don’t need to worry about that. If you’re truly not ready to get engaged, then tell Brody that. He’ll understand.”
“Will he, though? It’s part of our plan – we get engaged after we graduate.”
“You’re not graduating for another year. You have time. Maybe you will feel differently, then… and if you don’t, you adjust the plan.”
“I guess so.” Her eyes scanned the room, and settled upon T.J. “If things with Chase don’t work out in the end, you have to go for him.”
I laughed. “I’m still dumb enough to hope things work out with Chase.”
“Don’t call my best friend dumb.” She picked up a chocolate chip cookie for herself, and handed me another. “Whatever happens in our love lives, at least we have each other.”
I tapped my cookie against hers, and took a bite. “I’ll cheers to that.”
It felt odd,yet natural being at Chase’s house without Chase. I was comfortable there, but it felt like something was missing. It didn’t help to remember that Chase wasn’t the only one missing. I kissed my fingertips and placed them on Tim’s urn in the living room.
“Miss you,” I said softly.
“I’m ready!” Khloe called from upstairs.
I met her at the bottom of the staircase, and she took my hand to lead me into the kitchen.
Beverly, still in her Sunday morning robe, looked up from her pile of papers at the dining room table. “I left everything on the counter for you, Merritt.”
“Thank you,” I called back to her.
I lifted Khloe’s tiny body and sat her on the counter. “What would you like to be in charge of?”
“I want to crack the eggs, and I want to help flip the pancakes!”
I handed her two eggs, and slid the bowl across the countertop. “Get crackin’!”
She giggled as she tapped the egg against the bowl. I measured and poured the rest of the ingredients, and handed the whisk to Khloe when she had finished. We were a good team, and I could never feel anything but happy whenever I was around her.
