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“We are friends, you know.”
Fred snorted.
I shot him a look. “Grandma, I’m a grown man. This is my house. I can come and go as I please.”
“Yes, you can. You’re absolutely right.” She slid two fried eggs onto some toast and looked over at me. “And you can tell me you’re friends with Ellie all you like, but Max, friends don’t fuck.”
Fucking great.
Fred choked on his breakfast, and he leant forwards, smacking his fist against his chest to dislodge whatever was being a nuisance for him.
“Grandma,” I scolded her.
“I’m off to eat my breakfast and read my book. Don’t bother me. They’re about to bang. And they’re definitely not just friends, either.” She picked up her plate and strolled out of the kitchen, leaving me and Fred staring after her in disbelief.
He jerked around to look at me. “Is she right?”
I gave him a withering look. “I’m not dignifying that with a response.”
“She’s right.” He stabbed his last bit of toast with his fork and dragged it around the plate, scooping up the wantaway egg yolk. “You’re going down swinging with her, aren’t you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said dryly, getting up to put my empty cup in the sink. “Kevin was in a bit of a state, so I helped her get him home.”
“Ellie said last night before you left. At ten-fifteen.”
I shook my head. “I’m not discussing this, Fred. We’re not eighteen anymore.”
“Hey, I’m not trying to get the sordid details out of you. I’m just glad you listened to me for once and loosened up.”
It was too early for this. I wasn’t about to get into the details of what had happened last night between me and Ellie—it was just that, between me and Ellie. If I started talking, he’d only ask if it meant I was finally relenting on my years long position to avoid relationships, then I’d have to go down a road of discussion I wasn’t happy to travel.
The truth of the matter was simple.
I was utterly fucked.
I’d promised to show her the karaoke and doing that with Fred and her brother in tow had seemed like a good idea. We weren’t alone, it wasn’t anything remotely similar to a date, and there would be no chance of us stepping over another line.
Until we’d been left alone all night.
I’d introduced her to more people than I could count. I’d laughed more with her last night than I could remember laughing in years and watching her wide-eyed discoveries of all the animals on the parade was one of the purest, best things I’d seen in a long time.
And I couldn’t stay away from her.
No matter how hard I tried, something drew me to her. Every time she’d laid a hand on my arm or leant into me, I’d moved in closer to her—I’dwantedto be closer to her.
Everything about her was fucking enthralling to me, and I didn’t understand how she’d walked into my life in her burst of sunshine and done this to me.
How she’d made me…Feelthings. For her. That I’d never felt. That I’d never wanted to feel.
I was all kinds of fucked up over Ellie, and I wasn’t sure I could undo it. I wasn’t sure I was able to. That there was even a way to make these feelings for her go away.
I knew she felt something too. It was there in her eyes every time she looked at me. A little twinkle in her dark blue gaze that resonated with a deep part of me.
That was what scared me more than anything.
I knew what she wanted from life. It was in all her books—the happily ever after. The wedding and the family and the happiness that most people dreamt of for their entire lives.
I knew I had to stop whatever was between us. I had to tell her that we couldn’t do this anymore, that we’d already crossed too many lines, that it was better if we just stayed away from each other.
