AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I closed the lid of my laptop and tucked it under my arm before I set my hand in his and let him pull me to my feet. “Okay, but you know I’m going to help.”
His lips tugged to the side in a smile so fond and intimate that my heart skipped. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
CHAPTER FORTY
MAX
Dr Collins
“How are you doing, Max?”
I swallowed, staring at the woman on the computer screen in front of me.
Dr Collins had been the only person available when I’d sought out a therapist to help me process my parents’ death and how it had affected the rest of my life. My GP couldn’t help, I couldn’t see anyone in person, but I’d been able to connect with her online after her receptionist had said she spoke to private clients in her own time.
I was paying for that, too.
A very pretty penny.
But I was of the mind that there was no price too much for my mental health, and our first session had cemented that for me. I was extremely lucky to be in the financial position to pay significant money for the support I knew I needed, and there was something about Dr Collins that made me comfortable, even if the whole talking about how I was feeling thing was anything but.
Therapy really wasn’t anything I ever thought I’d have to deal with. I thought I’d be able to go through my life, keeping everyone away, keeping myself locked up.
Until Ellie.
She’d strolled into my life like the sunburst that she was, brightening every corner of my miserable existence. She’d shown me that there was something worth fighting for, that there was always something brighter around the corner, that every day really was a new one.
Therapy was something I had to do for myself. I hadn’t reached out because Grandma thought I should or because Ellie or Fred or Penny wanted me to. It was something I’d decided to do because I needed it.
I needed to speak with someone who could help me break down the trauma I’d suffered when my father had killed my mum.
If I wanted to move on, to become a better person, I had to do this.
I wanted to do this.
I wanted to unpack my trauma, figure out where it fit in my life, and learn how to grieve healthily. I wanted to re-evaluate my relationship with my parents, especially my father, and re-evaluate my current ones. Friendships, familial… romantic.
I wanted to be a better, healthier version of myself,formyself.
It would be a long, tough road, and I knew that. I would have to rip out a part of me and lay it bare in front of Dr Collins and potentially those closest to me, but I was just so tired.
I was so tired of hurting. I was so tired of feeling pain, of being wrapped in a never-ending cycle of swirling, uncontrollable emotions that controlled my life.
I was so, so fucking tired of being angry all the time.
“I’m… okay,” I said after a moment of silence.
“You don’t sound so sure about that,” Dr Collins replied gently, toying with her necklace. She rolled the locket between her finger and thumb. “You don’t look it, either. Perhaps your feelings today are a good starting point for this session.”
I leant back in the chair, letting my knees fall open, and averted my gaze from the camera. “Ellie’s almost done with her book.”
“Ah.”
“Her parents retired to Portugal, but they come back to England sometimes because Ellie and her brother are here. They’re coming back in a few days, so she’s cutting her time here short and is leaving almost as soon as her book is done to be back for their trip.”
“What difference does that make to you? Her exit frees up a property you can rent out, does it not?”
I nodded. “It does.”
