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Thank God.
I had no idea what I would’ve done if something was wrong.
“We’re having a son?” I reiterated as it slowly started to sink in, and she nodded. “We’re having a son,” I exclaimed excitedly and leaned in hugging Callie so tightly. I wanted to pick her up and spin her around, and it took all my strength not to do that because she was heavily pregnant, and there was no way I was going to risk hurting either one of them.
“Mike, I think you should pick his name,” she said, and with those few words, a sudden wash of raw emotion ran over me.
“But what about, Niall?”
Callie cupped my cheek. “Mike, he’s your son. You should name him. Niall will go with whatever I choose, so I want you to know he’s yours and you got to name him,” she said, and my bottom lip trembled.
“Really?”
Callie laughed and nodded. There was only one name I wanted, Harrison, but that would’ve been too obvious as it was my father’s name. So, I thought hard and decided on my grandfather’s name. It meant something to me, but Niall would never know.
“How about Aiden?” I asked, and her smile grew from ear to ear.
“That’s your grandfather’s name, right?” A tear fell down her cheek when I nodded, and I wiped it away. “I absolutely love it! Our baby will be named Aiden,” she said.
I couldn’t help myself, so I leaned in and kissed her lips softly. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t kiss me back either. Callie kept to her promise of not cheating on Niall. She had nothing to feel guilty about.
All I knew was that I was more in love with her and our son, Aiden, than I had ever been before.
Months had passed, and one night after dinner, I drove Niall and Callie to the hospital. Our son was coming into the world, and I was so excited. I’d finally get to meet Aiden. I drove so fast I don’t even really remember how we actually got to the hospital, but we were there in a flash. I raced out of the car and around to help Callie out and inside along with Niall, of course. She was in so much pain, it was killing me that I couldn’t help her, be with her, and whisper in her ear how much I loved her, but that wasn’t my job anymore.
Once inside, the nurses moved Callie into a wheelchair, and everything was happening so fast I couldn’t breathe. The nurse wheeled her toward some doors, and Niall and I were both following behind.
The nurse stopped at the door and looked at us both. “Only the father can come in here,” she said, and that’s when the nausea truly kicked in.
Niall and Callie went through to the birthing ward while I stopped and watched. I stood and stared at the doors for, I don’t even know how long. I knew this would happen, but it didn’t stop me from being in undeniable agony.
Niall would watch my son being born—my
son.
He’d cut Aiden’s umbilical cord, and he would be the first one to see him.
My beautiful boy.
My Aiden.
All while I’m stuck out here for God knows how long waiting to see my baby.
It hurt so much, and I was angry. Angry at Callie. Angry at Niall. But mostly, I was mad at myself for letting this happen.
I leaned my head against the wall and softly wept. I was devastated. I should’ve been in there. Niall had no right. I detached myself from the wall and walked outside. I had no idea what I was doing, but I saw a man with a cigarette, and even though I had never smoked a day in my life, I wanted one badly. I walked over to the man who seemed quite happy.
“Hey, sorry to bother you, but do you have a spare one of those?” I asked, and he immediately handed one to me.
“It’s hard to watch, hey?” the man said as I put the cigarette in my mouth.
“Pardon?” I questioned as he leaned over and lit the nasty habit.
“Your wife… having your baby. It’s hard to watch. Don’t worry, the tobacco will help,” he said.
I nodded and took in a deep lung full of the toxic fumes. I tried to hide my cough, but the man just laughed at me.
“Don’t worry, it gets easier with time, the smoking and watching your children being born,” he stated, then patted me on the back as I took in another lung full of cigarette smoke.
