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He threw his butt to the ground and stomped on it. “I better get back in there. She’ll kill me if she knew I was smoking again.”
I wanted to hit something or drink a whole bottle of whiskey, anything but be here right now. But I wouldn’t leave Callie. I knew she probably didn’t even have me in her thoughts, but just in case, I wanted her to know I was there for her and our boy, Aiden.
I took in another drag when images of Niall holding my newborn son flashed through my mind. My stomach lurched, and I spun around quickly and heaved into the garden bed. I couldn’t stop the violent wrenching no matter how hard I tried. The heavy heartbeat followed next, and my legs gave way, so I sat on the pavement next to the garden and sobbed.
I stayed outside sitting on a bench until the morning. People would come and go, and some would ask if I was all right. I’d simply nod, and they would walk off.
As the sun rose, I walked back inside and used the restroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I looked as crappy as I felt. I washed my face and went back out to the waiting room. I sat, feeling as if I were in a trance. I stared at a magazine for a few hours, but I wasn’t reading it. In fact, it was on the coffee table in front of me. I didn’t even pick it up. It was taunting me with the headline saying, ‘Ten Ways to be a Great Father This Easter.’ I sat and thought about how I’d never hear Aiden call me Dad. How every time I’d hear him call Niall Dad or Daddy, it would break my heart just that little bit more.
I had given Callie a present, a crib that I carved myself, and that knowledge helped in some small way in that I knew Aiden would have some part of me with him while he slept. I continued to stare at the magazine, and I heard laughter and footsteps behind me. I looked up casually to see Niall with a big, stupid grin on his face. He came over to me, and I stood to greet him. Even though all I wanted to do was punch the living shit out of him, I had to keep up the pretense of excitement.
“It’s a boy, Mike,” he exclaimed, slapping me on the back. “I wanted to call him Niall Jr., but Callie was resolute on naming him Aiden. God only knows why. Anyway, I have a son,” he confirmed.
So, I nodded and faked a smile. No fucking way was my son going to be called Niall fucking Jr.!
“Geez, Mike, you look like shit. Didn’t you sleep at all?”
“No, why, did you?” I asked.
He laughed. “Like a baby. Woke up in time to cut the cord,” he said, and those words infuriated me.
Oh, for God’s sake, he wasn’t even there to help Callie with her birthing.
What the fuck!
I couldn’t hate him more than I did at that moment.
“How are they?” I asked, wanting to know every damn detail.
“Who?” Niall said, and I rolled my eyes.
“Callie and Aiden,” I said, sounding more annoyed than I meant to.
“Oh, right, yeah… good, I suppose. Aiden’s a healthy seven pounds two ounces. He’s going to be a big lad like his father,” he explained.
“And Callie?” I asked, and he shrugged.
“She wouldn’t stop moaning and complaining. Mike, you did the right thing staying single. Women are no more than a convenience. Good for sex and making kids that’ll take over the family business,” he said.
I had to look away or else I was seriously going to pound his face into the middle of next week.
“Can I see them?” I asked through gritted teeth.
Niall shrugged and pulled out a cigar putting it in his mouth and lighting. The smell instantly making me want to vomit. “Do what you want. She’s sleeping. But the kid’s in the crib so you can see him if you like. He’s pretty cute. Must be good genes, I suppose.”
I was so angry with Niall. I couldn’t believe his attitude. Why Callie married him, I’d never understand. I opened the doors and walked to the reception desk.
“Hi, I’m here to see Callie O’Connell,” I explained to the nurse who smiled and nodded, walking me toward her room. My heart was pounding in my chest, and my palms were sweaty. I was nervous because I had no idea what to expect.
“She had a rough labor, so she might be a little groggy,” the nurse said and pointed toward room seven.
I nodded, walked over, and looked inside. Callie was asleep and looked terrible—beautiful but terrible. She was pale, and her hair was a mess. My heart broke that she went through the entire labor alone. I walked in further and movement caught my eye. Next to her bed was the crib. I smiled and walked over to see my Aiden.
My heart pounded in my chest as I approached him. I was about to see my son for the first time, and it both electrified and scared the crap out of me at the same time. But as I stared down at his tiny round face, my entire body ignited with love. I’d never felt anything like it before as I stared down at him all wrapped up in a blue wrap, his tiny eyelids slowly waking up. He had one arm out of his tight wrap. Edging my hand to his, ever so slowly, as soon as he touched my finger, he instantly grabbed on, his tiny little digits wrapping around it with a surprising squeeze. Emotion overwhelmed me as I let out a quiet sob and soaked him in.
My son. My Aiden.
My eyes filled with unshed tears. I’d never known this kind of intensity before as I stared at him with his tiny hand holding mine. There was something so powerful in that.
