Page 57 of Seeley

It was purpose and passion.

Some people didn’t even get that in life.

I was lucky.

But then he had to come waltzing back into my life once again, reminding me of all that old shit, all those old feelings, all those memories I tried so hard not to think about.

“Shut it down,” I demanded of myself as I put the car in drive and headed home.

I wasn’t going to fall apart.

Not after all this time.

Not over him.

Because, what? He fingered me in an exam room.

Christ.

I had to get a grip.

Luckily for me, there were plenty of things to do to occupy my time. Like clean out my pantry. And wash my curtains. And scrub the kitchen floor.

It was sometime around two a.m. that I realized I’d left my phone at work.

And, these days, when you don’t have a landline, you kind of needed your cell phone just to survive.

Still in my pajamas, I grabbed my keys and bag, and climbed back into my car, heading back into work, having no idea what the hell was in store for me when I stepped inside.

CHAPTER TEN

Seeley

“He’s been weird all day,” Levee said, like I wasn’t just a few feet away, like I’d suddenly lost my hearing.

“So?” Cato asked, shaking his head.

“So, you don’t think it’s worth asking him if he’s alright? Toxic masculinity is bad for you and all that shit. We gotta check in on each other,” Levee said.

“So check in on him,” Cato said, rolling his eyes.

“No fucking way. You remember what he was like the last time shit was going down with Amaranta.”

I bet they did.

That was a dark fucking period of my life.

From the moment I climbed out of that bed and walked out of that apartment.

I’d stayed there as long as I could, holding her, trying to memorize the curves of her body, the feel of her hair between my fingers, the smell of her, the way she curled into me and held on.

Because I knew that once I let go, that was it. I would never get the chance again.

You could be forgiven for a lot in life. But taking the virginity of your best friend in the world, the girl you loved more than anything else, and who loved you back the same, then walking out of her life and never speaking to her again? Yeah, there was no coming back from that. There was no apology grand enough to make up for that kind of hurt.

And I knew how much I’d hurt her.

Because I’d been outside of the apartment at one point, hearing her sobbing.

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