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“That’s good to hear. If Ethan’s anything like his father, I know how hardcore his love runs. Ryley adores Ashleigh.”
“Just like dad is with you,” I added, averting my gaze to the bracelet she gave me many years ago; I hardly ever took off. “And vice versa.”
She had given me the bracelet as a reminder that she would always love and protect me; I cherish it. There was a time back when she was my age when she was forced to fight men for the sick pleasure of the people at the Dark Side. She had to do it, or else my dad would pay the price with his life. But, ultimately, he was pulled into it anyway and had to fight to survive.
“Your dad is special,” my mother said. “Just like I think all the guys in your group are. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have my brother, your dad, Ryley, and Camden in my corner.”
My stomach started to rumble, and a wave of nausea hit me. I’d been fighting it for a few days now. “Mom, do you mind if I call you back tomorrow? I’m not feeling really well right now. I think the fish we ate isn’t settling in my stomach.”
“Oh no. I hope you get better. Text me later, so I’ll know you’re okay.”
I grabbed my stomach and swallowed hard to keep from throwing up. “Will do. I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
I hung up quickly and bolted to the bathroom, collapsing onto the floor by the toilet. My phone fumbled out of my hands and slid across the tile. Everything I’d eaten for dinner came up in a rush. I thought I’d feel better after throwing everything up, but the nausea was still there. Slowly, I got to my feet and brushed my teeth. My belly felt a little crampy, and the blood drained from my face when I looked at myself in the mirror.
“Oh, no, no, no, no, no.”
Frantically, I searched the floor for my phone and snatched it up.
“This can’t be happening.”
My hands shook as I scrolled through my phone and to my calendar. I’d been so busy that I hadn’t paid attention to the dates.
I was two weeks late.
* * *
I don’t know how long I stayed in the bathroom, but I was numb. The only thing I could feel was the cold tiles against my legs. I couldn’t even remember when I sat down on the floor. It felt like I was playing a role in one of my movies; it didn’t seem real.
Ethan and I had been safe. We’d used condoms every time we were together. So what the hell was I going to do?
“Peyton?” Ethan called out.
His footsteps thumped down the hallway, and I jumped to my feet, frantically turning on the faucet. A light knock rapped against the door.
“Hey, you okay in there?”
I kept the water on to mask the thickness of my voice. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. You know how my mother likes to talk.”
He laughed. “That I do.”
It was hard looking at myself in the mirror. I didn’t want to lie to Ethan or keep him in the dark, but I didn’t want to say anything until I knew what was happening. “I’m almost done in here. I’ll be out in a second.”
“Okay. The sunset is fucking amazing tonight. I don’t want you to miss it.”
Once he was gone and I heard the front door shut, I quickly grabbed my phone and started a grocery order. I couldn’t just go out and buy a pregnancy test. If someone were to recognize me and snap a picture of me grabbing a test, it’d be all over the internet.
I quickly ordered various things and added in several tests, all different brands. Unfortunately, since it was getting late, the order wouldn’t be fulfilled until first thing in the morning.
My nerves were shot, and the thought of waiting made my impatience worse. There was no way in hell I’d be able to sleep tonight, not until I knew my fate. What would my future even look like? My career would have to be put on hold, and I had no clue if Ethan was even ready to be a father. We hadn’t even talked about thatormarriage. We’d only been together for a short amount of time.
Tears welled up in my eyes, but I fanned my face, refusing to let them fall. “Pull yourself together, Peyton,” I grumbled at myself. “You can do this. You don’t even know if you’re pregnant.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly and walked out of the bathroom. My mom’s California State University hoodie was on the bed, so I picked it up and slipped it over my head. I’d often wondered what it would’ve been like to go to college and get a degree instead of pursuing my acting career. School was never my path. But, then again, whatwasmy path? I never expected to become a mother at twenty-three years old. I stopped at the front door and leaned my head against it.
“You don’t know if you are,” I whispered. “Don’t stress.”
