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Easier said than done.
I thought through my options. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if I were pregnant. Stressing wasn’t going to help the situation. The unknown was the only thing bothering me now. Life would be so much simpler if I could just go out and get a test without having to hide.
Opening the door, I walked outside and let the cool breeze brush over my face. Ethan was right . . . the sunset was breathtaking. The sky was nothing but shades of pink, orange, and purple. I walked down to the dock where about twenty small crabs scurried across it to hide underneath. I’d tried getting pictures of them before, but they were so fast I could never get to them in time.
At the end of the dock, I could see Ethan casting his line into the water. We’d grown into a routine since we’d been in Wilmington. While he fished every sunrise and sunset, I would sit with him and enjoy the tranquility of the ocean. It was quiet and peaceful. I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy solitude.
Ethan glanced back at me and smiled, just a simple uptick of his lips. Every time he looked at me like that, it was as if all my troubles would disappear, and everything would be all right. I walked down to him, and he reeled in his line, setting his rod on the dock.
Reaching for my hand, he pulled me to him, enveloping me with his warm embrace. With a heavy sigh, I rested my head against his chest.
“Are you okay?” he asked, kissing the top of my head.
I snuggled into him more. “Yeah. I just love it when you hold me.”
He held me tight, and I focused on all the sounds around me. His breathing. The seagulls squawking overhead. The sound of the rippling water as the wind ripped across it.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I forced away the tears. I couldn’t lose it now. Ethan’s hands slid up my back, then he brought them to my face, pulling me back so I’d have to look up at him. He stared deep into my eyes, and I lost myself in his blue gaze for a moment. Nothing else existed but him and me. Then, cupping my cheeks, he kissed me gently, and I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his warmth.
“I love you, Peyton.”
The words brushed across my lips, and my eyes flashed open. It was as if all the emotions from the past hour poured out of me. Tears streamed down my cheeks, and it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest. Ethan wiped my tears away.
“Why are you crying?”
Placing my hands over his, I smiled up at him. “Because it felt amazing to hear it. I love you too.”
Ethan smiled and kissed me again, his tongue parting my lips so he could taste me. The groan that vibrated in his chest made my body tighten.
“I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now,” he murmured, resting his forehead on mine. “I never thought I’d say those words to anyone other than my family.”
“Same. You’re my first.”
The heat-filled look in his eyes made me tremble. His grip on my face tightened, and I could see his need for me. I’d been wanted by other men before, but never by someone who looked at me the way Ethan did, like I was the only one who mattered. Every time I was around him, his focus was on me. It made me feel special, wanted. And not just because of who I was.
“And I don’t ever want to let you go,” he said, brushing his thumbs across my cheeks.
“Good. Because I don’t want you to.”
Wrapping my arms around his waist, I held him tight and breathed him in. He made me feel safe, that everything was going to be okay.
I had to believe in him . . . in us.
CHAPTER14
PEYTON
The morning had finally come, and I’d barely slept a wink, even after using up all my energy in the bedroom with Ethan after we professed our love to each other. I was exhausted, but I was ready. Our grocery order had been dropped off on the front porch, and luckily, Ethan was outside on the dock. There wasn’t much else we could do since we were trying to stay out of the public eye. I was happy he found something he enjoyed. Most of his life was spent working out in the gym and fighting. We only had one more month of this freedom before we had to head back to California.
Before putting the groceries away, I pulled out the four pregnancy tests and hid them in the bathroom’s towel closet just in case Ethan came inside. Once I was done putting away the food, I slowly made my way back to the bathroom. I unboxed all four tests and placed them on the counter. All four were different. One would show two pink lines if I were pregnant, two would display a positive, and the last would simply have the word “pregnant” on the tiny screen.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I drew in a slow breath and let it out. “Here we go.”
Maybe it was stupid to do all four tests at once, but I had to know for sure. I followed the directions and set all the tests on the counter, making sure not to look at them as I washed my hands.
The rapid beating of my heart pounded in my ears, and I had to sit down to keep from fainting. It was the longest two minutes of my life. Then, finally, when the time ran up, I stood and stared at myself in the mirror again. I wanted to look down at the tests, but I was frozen. If they came up negative, life could go on like normal. But if they were positive . . . Well, that left many open paths. At that point, the question would be . . . which path were we going to take?
Slowly, I took in another breath and glanced down at the tests.
