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“That he’s my one. I could never fully get over him because my soul knew it.” I scoff at my words. “It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud, doesn’t it?”
“Why? The world can be full of both magic and heartache. One doesn’t negate the other. I think we’re lucky if we find the person that makes us better. You just happened to find yours too early, and he reacted poorly.”
“Understatement,” I mutter.
“But his willingness to atone is obvious in his actions. He’s not putting in the extra hours in before and after work just to honor Pages’ memory.”
“Is that enough, though?”
“Only you can decide that, Daph.”
The silence stretches between us, and I push off the concrete with my foot, keeping us swaying.
“How do you think his penance should look. What’s going to make you feel better about leaving the past behind?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“Then how can it ever be resolved? It sounds like you have some soul-searching. Be honest with yourself.”
“What will it say about me if I just let it go after holding on to my grudge for all this time, Fey?”
“I think if you were to weigh pride to happiness, you would quickly see which held more weight.”
She’s not telling me anything I haven’t thought myself. In order to grow, I have to let go of the past.
“I’m curious to hear what Ellis thinks?”
I snicker. “That I should take him for a test drive and figure out the fine print later.”
I smile. “If we were other people, that might work, but what we want and what we’ve been through won’t allow a shallow connection.”
“If you know that, what are you doing now?”
“I.” I close my mouth. Every time we blur the lines, we’re twining ourselves tighter together. I’ve never been one into casual hookups. The puzzle pieces fit together, showing me a picture I didn’t want to see.Pulling back is futile because I’m already in too deep.
“I’m fighting myself over a decision I already made at some point,” I whisper. The fire has already been set and started to spread. Putting it out wasn’t an option.
“I think so too. What do you want?”
“New. I don’t know how that will look, but those details will come in time. He needs me, and I want to be there for him.”
“I think he’s the one you need to tell this to.”
“You’re right.” I slurp down the remainder of my Irish coffee for courage and stand.
“Thank you for helping me work through this.”
“Just make sure I’m part of the wedding party.”
“After all the planning with James, I’d rather elope, honestly.” Winking, I hand her the mug. “Wish me luck.”
“I don’t think you’ll need it, Little Blume.” Her deep, drawled imitation of New makes me laugh. Wiggling my fingers, I make my way off the porch and across the lawn to my car. Unsure if he has Brax for the evening, I glance at the clock. It’s a little past nine, late but not unbearably so.
Leaving it until the morning would make for a sleepless night. Riding the wave of courage, I make the trip to his apartment. Parking, I cross the lot quickly and climb to the second story. Standing in front of his door, I take a deep breath and knock lightly.
The swings open. “What are you doing here, Daphe?” He looks tired.
“I’m done fighting what I want.”
