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Tension thickens the air in the room as we all wait for what happens next. Wait for what will be said or asked. As prescribed by Dr. Webster, I do my best to not let the stress of the moment consume my thoughts.
As if he senses my semifrazzled state, Devlyn’s thumb draws small circles on my shoulder. I focus my attention on his light touch. Focus on the solace it provides. Count in my head with each circuit his thumb makes.
“It will take time for us to be in a better place, I know,” James says with a subtle nod. “But I want to be part of my grandchild’s life. In whatever way you feel is best.”
“Dad, I…” Devlyn pauses and shifts his greens to my blues. “We will need to talk about it.” His eyes go back to his father. “A lot has changed. With us all.” Devlyn’s grip on my shoulder tightens slightly. “But more will need to change before Shelly and I consider the possibility.”
Across from us, James nods as he hangs his head a little. “I can’t fault either of you in this. All I ask is that you give it consideration.” James looks at Devlyn for a beat before his eyes find mine. “Whatever you need of me—joint therapy sessions, time, specific actions—I will do it. Just please, don’t shut me out.”
I feel for this man. Truly.
James, too, has been through hell. Stuck in a loveless marriage for decades just so he knew his son was safe. To some degree, anyway.
“We will,” I affirm. My eyes drop as my hand comes to my belly. “This baby will be loved like no other. I’d like them to be surrounded by as much as possible.” I lift my gaze as a smile lights James’s expression. “But… I don’t know you. Not really.” I flash him a sad smile. “Your wife made one heck of a first impression. Sorry to say, but it automatically made one for you too.”
“I get it.”
“All I ask for is time,” I tell him. “Time for me to get to know you. And time with Devlyn.” I look at the man holding me close, a small smile curving my lips. “In whichever way he needs it. If it’s therapy, a night out together or space without you, you need to respect and grant it.”
Devlyn hugs me closer and kisses my temple.
It isn’t my intention to speak for Devlyn. In the eight months we have known each other, Devlyn isn’t one to always speak his mind. Scared to hurt himself or the feelings of another, he shelters his emotions more often than not. I won’t speak for him, but I will speak up for him. In his twenty-three years of life, not many have. Going forward, that will change.
“Promise, I will.” James checks his watch. “I should get going.”
James slips on his shoes. Devlyn and I walk him to his car and share hugs and goodbyes. A minute later, we wave him off as he backs out of the driveway and drives off.
Back in the house, we wander to the living room hand in hand and plop down on the couch. Minutes of silence pass as we curl into each other and breathe through the tail end of our night.
“Was really nice seeing him again,” Devlyn whispers against my shoulder. “He’s so… different.”
I rest my head on his. “How so?”
Devlyn traces his fingers over my own, then up my hand and forearm before drifting back down. I close my eyes and absorb his touch. Allow it to warm my skin.
“He’s always been calm. Laid back. But now…” Devlyn sits up to look me in the eye. Tenderness softens his expression. “I can’t remember the last time he smiled. Like a genuine smile. And tonight, he gave so many.”
That he did. James’s smiles varied from brilliant to subtle, but they were pleasant all the same.
“I hope he finds happiness,” I say softly.
Devlyn lays his head back on my shoulder. “Me too. Although he hasn’t made the best decisions, he deserves happiness. And the opportunity to change.”
I wholeheartedly agree. My only hope is, after so many years under Karen’s thumb, James is capable of change.
EIGHTEEN
DEVLYN
Keepingsecrets from Shelly is not my strong suit. But this secret must be kept.
Better to deal with only her wrath than the wrath of everyone else.
“Breakfast out was the best idea,” she says as she wipes her mouth with a paper napkin. “And this café,” —her eyes drift around the bustling restaurant— “how did I not know about this place?”
I shrug and give her a half smile. “Good ole Google found it for me, so…”
She waves me off. “Give yourself some of the credit. The thought crossed your mind. That’s what matters most.”
