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“Kash?” she whispered not daring to believe he was really there. “Is that really you or am I dreaming again? Please don’t let it be a dream.” The tears from last night reappeared. She tried to wipe them away, but he beat her to it.
Rubbing her cheeks gently with his thumb. “I am very real. I promise you,” he murmured.
“But you hate me. I was awful. I kept Arella from you. I shouldn’t have. She deserves a father like you. Only you. She deserves you. Kash, I don’t know what I’m saying. Oh, God, please, if I wake up now, this will be so very bad.”
“Shh,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything, habibti. Just enjoy the moment.”
Shaking her head, she tried to push his hand away. “But that’s just it, Kash. I don’t want just this moment. I want lots of moments strung together. I want a lifetime, and you can’t…”
Before she could say more, Kashif leaned down and silenced her with a kiss. The moment their lips touched, she forgot everything that she wanted to say to him as heat blossomed deep inside her. Her arms went up to wrap around his neck as she pulled him closer to her. She had no idea if this was goodbye but if she never had a chance to tell him how she felt, she was going to show him now.
Tangling her fingers in his hair, she lifted her leg and draped it over his hip using her calf to pull him closer. Her body trembled with the need to be as close to him as possible, especially if this was goodbye. She couldn’t stop the sob in the back of her throat and he tightened his arms around her, holding her close as if he knew that’s what she needed.
Her hands skimmed down his body, tugging his shirt out of his waistband so she could touch his skin. Breaking the kiss, she leaned against his chest, taking in long, deep breaths to memorize his smell.
He stroked his hands across her body and Kristy felt as though each touch would be their last. With a sob, she tightened her hold on him, lifting her head to kiss him again. When she deepened the kiss, she heard him moan but to her ears, it sounded more like a sob.
Was this really goodbye?
Trying to focus on the present, she tugged at his shirt and waited impatiently for him to pull it up and off, before she smoothed her hands over his skin and relished the feeling of his muscles shuddering under her touch. He was hard where she was soft. His skin was so hot that she felt that she’d get burned if she kept her hand in one place too long, but she couldn’t stop touching him.
There was something quietly desperate in his eyes and in his actions. The more they caressed and fondled, the more intense the expression on his face. By the time he pulled her pants down, he practically yanked them down her legs.
When he stretched out between her legs, he leaned over her, bracing himself on one arm so he could cup her chin. He stared at her without moving. “I wish to hell that I could, but I can’t stop. I need you to know that.”
Stop what? Hating her? Needing her? What did he mean? Before she could ask, he thrust inside her and chased away all her questions. In that moment, there was no past and no future. There was only him and the way he felt inside her.
Their moans intertwined in the darkness, and when he clasped his hands in hers and held her down as he drove into her, she thought that the bed would catch fire. They’d burn the world to the ground with all the things that were left unspoken between them.
“Stay with me,” he muttered darkly. “I’m going to come, Kristy, and I need you to stay with me. Even if it’s the last time. Please.”
His urgent confession was her undoing. Shuddering under him, the quiet orgasm gently broke her apart, and with it came his own release. Anchoring inside her, he pressed her into the mattress as he moaned her name and spilled himself inside her.
Finally, he rolled over onto his back, carrying her with him. She was tired. Tired from his lovemaking, tired from crying, tired from needing and loving a man that she couldn’t make stay, but she wouldn’t sleep. She wanted to commit every second of tonight to memory.
Especially if it was the last.
“I tried to leave,” he finally said hoarsely. “But I couldn’t. I couldn’t walk away from you again.”
“I’m sorry that I lied to you,” she whispered as she curled around his warm body. “I thought I was protecting Arella, but I was so wrong.”
“We’ve made such a mess of things,” he said with a small chuckle. “I do understand why you did it. You’ve had years of thinking that I’m a bad guy, and I know that it can be hard to let go. I’ve spent all this time thinking that you didn’t care, and when I realized that you’d hidden Arella from me, I thought it was because you thought I’d be a horrible father. That hurt.”
“You’re going to be a wonderful father, Kash. Arella is a lucky little girl.”
“Not as lucky as I am.” He reached down and lifted her chin. “I love you, Kristy. I’m not saying that because of Arella. I’m saying it because it’s true. I could not imagine my life without you. I can’t imagine the kind of man that I would be without you. I know I’ve said some horrible things…”
Her heart nearly burst with joy. Putting a finger over his lips, she stopped him from saying anything else. “If you can forgive me for what I’ve done, I can forgive you. I love you too, Kash. No one else has ever made me feel the way that you do.”
“I have something else to confess. I spoke to Julia yesterday morning when you weren’t here, and she told me what you did.”
“Putting the farm up for sale? I didn’t have a choice.”
“I know you didn’t. That’s why I’m giving it to you.”
Confused, she stared at him. “What do you mean?”
“I bought it, Kristy. I told you before that I wanted to help you, and I meant it.”
