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She hasn’t even sent me photos of the French Riviera like she promised, and we’ve always spoken about going there together.
I gather my stuff and get ready to leave the coffee shop. I haven’t got long before the last bus back to Castle Rock. I’m heading out the door, not really paying much attention when I crash into something solid and come face to face with the guy from the studio.
“Tac,” I say his name out loud, and he looks down at me a little befuddled.
“Ella, Ella Jackson,” I remind him.
“Tinker bell tattoo?” he scrunches up his face awkwardly.
“No, I came to the studio looking for Nyx a few months back.”
“Sorry darlin’. What can I do ya for?” He still doesn’t seem to recognize me, but I continue anyway.
“I was just wondering if you’d heard from him, if he’s doing okay?”
“I ain’t seen him since he rode out to Utah but if I know Nyx, he’ll be doing okay.”
“Utah?” I check I heard him right.
“You know what, I do remember you now. The girl with all the questions.” His tattooed arms cross over his chest and he looks down on me like I’m a fly he wants to flick off his nose.
“Look, Nyx got a Charter exchange after he got out, that’s all I’m gonna tell ya. You seem like a nice girl. Why don’t you go blow a footballer or summit?” He wades past me towards the counter and all I can do is stare out the window onto the street in front of me.
Nyx is out of jail, he got released and he never came looking for me. I guess he really did mean what he said that day I visited him.
I thought he’d said all that because he had no hope. But he’s free. He’s out. And he never came for me.
I move forward out into the street and start walking towards the bus stop. My eyes threatening to burst with tears and my stomach wanting to empty all over the sidewalk. I make it to the bench and pull out my cell phone, scrolling through my contacts and finding Nyx's number. My thumb lingers over the call button but as I stare at his name on the screen, I realize that it’s pointless. I laid everything out to him. I told him how I felt. And he chose to move states to get away from me. There’s nothing I can do for us now. There is no us. There’s only me and a world full of problems that I’m gonna have to fix myself.
2 months later
“Yo Grunt, Prez wants to see ya,” Levi pokes his head around the door and calls out at me from across the bar. It’s late and I’ve just finished changing a keg because the place is still rammed. The clubhouse in Utah is so much smaller than Colorado’s. There’s no space, everyone seems on top of each other and it stinks of stale beer, sweat, and sex. I just want everyone to fuck off so I can throw myself into some sketching.
“You mind jumpin’ back here?” I ask Angelica, I even try to sound polite for the feisty bitch. She snaps her head around at me, pulling her focus from Sylvan.the Charter’s VP.
“Can’t you see I’m busy.” she snarls, thinking she’s something special because she’s moved her way up the rank a little.
“Prez wants me” I look past her to Sylvan, who nods his head, then taps her ass, and orders her off. She shoots me daggers as she steps around the bar, so I hit her with a smirk to piss her off even more before climbing the back stairs up to Prez’s office.
“Come in,” he yells after I’ve knocked, and I open the latch and step inside.
Declan is one of the younger Presidents of the club, he ain’t an original Dirty Dozen, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get the same respect. His father had been the first Dirty Dozen to start up a sister Charter and when he died a few years ago, Declan stepped into his boots. He runs the small Charter well.
“I spoke to Jimmer today,” he tells me, nodding his head to the seat on the other side of his desk. So I sit down and wait for him to continue.
“Things are busy down there at the moment. Tac needs some help at the studio,” he continues, and what I feel is a weird combination of relief and dread. Utah has some good guys, but they ain’t my people. I’ve actually started to miss Squealer and his twisted sense of humor, and awkward silences with Grimm. But at the same time I know that being that close to Ella again will be a burning temptation not even the threat of death can douse.
The need to see her, to touch her, and see her smile again will be agony. And I can’t eventhink about how I’ll feel if she’s moved on with someone else. I don’t think I could actually let that happen. Just the thought of anyone else touching her the way I did, makes me fucking murderous.
“They want me to go back?” I check, almost hoping he’ll say I heard him wrong.
“You ride out tonight.” Declan nods back at me.
“Tonight?” I repeat. It’s past midnight, I won’t be getting into Colorado till morning.
“You gotta problem with that?” Declan frowns back at me.
“It’s just late is all.” I shrug.
