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Twelve
EVELYN
Raoul’s hand moves carefully to massage the balm into my ass cheek, and as he focuses so intently on the task, I can’t help but laugh at the irony of it.
“What do you find so funny?” He pulls back his head and frowns at me.
“You're such a contradiction. One minute you're punishing me with your belt, the next you're taking care of me like I’m a prized show dog.” I picture Mrs. Dennis and the way she pets her dog.
“A show dog?” he stares at me like I’ve gone crazy.
“Never mind, it’s just a little strange that’s all.”
“It’s called aftercare, and it’s usually the part I skip,” he explains, clearing his throat.
“So this is all a part of what you do?” I ask, doing a shit job of pretending not to be jealous that this isn’t something he’s been reserving just for me.
“No. This is what I should do. I just choose not to. I rely on the fact that a lot of submissives don’t require it. Which I guess is wrong of me.” He curls his top lip and shrugs.
I hate him talking about ‘the others’ but I can’t help being curious.
“And when you marry Briella will you—”
“Don’t,” Raoul shakes his head and pulls his hand away from me.
“We can’t avoid it, it’s going to happen eventually.” I prop myself up with my elbow and turn my body to face his.
“I don’t want you thinking about me and her like that.” His expression settles somewhere between sad and angry as he sits up against the headboard.
“I can’t help it. She’s going to be your wife, Raoul. You can’t blame me for being curious.” I look up at him but he refuses to make eye contact back.
“You know, you always had a way of doing this to me, even when you were younger.” He huffs, clearly frustrated at me. “How can you talk about shit like that, like it doesn’t matter? Do you have any idea what watching that video of you and that asshole did to me?” He finally looks back at me, and the hurt I see in his eyes makes me feel guilty for pushing him.
“It made me feel like my heart had been ripped out of my body and stamped on.” Anger builds in his voice. “I see it whenever I close my eyes. The thought of another man touching you, or even thinking about you in that way makes me fucking murderous.” I can see he’s making every effort to keep himself from getting mad, but it’s having no effect.
“But you… you want details and answers, and I don’t have them to fucking give you. I don’t know how things are gonna be for me and her, Evelyn, because I’ve spent my entire life trying not to think about the fact that none of that shit will be with you.” Turning his back on me, he switches off his lamp and slams his hand into his pillow before lying on it. I remain still, unsure what to say, or how to react. It’s been such a long day, and I don’t want to end it in an argument.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper into the darkness, feeling disappointed when I get no response.
“Raoul.” I rest my hand on his shoulder, and the force of his body suddenly presses into mine when he turns over and pins me into the mattress.
“We can torture ourselves when all this is over, but while you’re here we don’t talk about what happens after,” he warns, his hand sliding behind my ear and drawing my head up so my lips touch his.
“Now get some sleep,” he whispers, settling back beside me and wrapping me up in his arms.
***
“You need to tell me everything.” Kendra gives me a warning look as I take the seat opposite her, and pick up a menu. “I already ordered for you, save us some time.” She snatches it back off me and tosses it aside.
I roll my eyes at her and try to hide the smile from my face.
“So, what do you need to know?” I sigh.
“What do I need to know?” She looks at me with a dumbstruck expression on her face.
“Everything. Last time I saw you, you were shacked up with Fabian and now you're with Raoul. How did that happen?”
“I’m not with Raoul,” I correct her, hating the way that sounds.
