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“So what the hell is it then?” she asks, smiling politely at the waiter who places two glasses of wine in front of us.
“Kendra, I have a shoot to do,” I scold her.
“One isn’t gonna hurt, it’ll loosen you up. Continue,” she flaps her hand at me to rush me on.
“Fabian did something unforgivable.” I really don’t want to go into it right now, Raoul has been far too good a distraction for me to think about how embarrassing that whole situation is.
“What did he do?” Kendra widens her eyes curiously.
“Let’s just say he betrayed my trust. Raoul found out about it and picked me up from my studio the other night. I've been staying at his place since.”
“You fucking him?” she asks, not giving any thought to who might hear her.
“Kendra!” I shhhh her, bringing her attention to the fact we’re in a public place, and that Ludo is sitting on guard on a table not so far away from me. Raoul insisted he drive me to work today and stay close. This leads me to question if things are as safe as he’s telling me they are. Either that, or he doesn’t trust me not to run from him at my first opportunity.
“Are you and him being intimate?” she lowers the tone of her voice slightly.
“Yes,” I admit, feeling myself redden.
“I knew it. Oh my god, this is it. You are going to be a mobster's wife!” she squeals, and I give her another death look.
“It’s not serious, it's a just for now kinda thing.” I quickly drag her back down to earth.
“What? No, you told me about what you two used to have. He’s the love of your life. And I was there when he dragged you out of Fabian's club, remember? I saw the chemistry for myself.”
“It’s not that simple, I told you it was complicated. Raoul is tied up in an arrangement, one he can’t get out of.”
I pick up my wine and take a long sip. Kendra’s right, one isn’t going to hurt.
“We both agreed we would enjoy the time we have left before he has to marry the woman he’s been promised to.” I try to make it sound like I’m okay with everything. Kendra knows me better than anyone these days, if I can convince her, I can convince anyone.
“I’m sorry, did I wake up in the eighteenth century? That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.” Kendra laughs loud enough to get the attention of an unimpressed-looking Ludo.
“His world is different to ours, family, loyalty, and power mean everything to them. It’s what took him away from me all those years ago, and it’s the reason I can’t get attached to him now. I know you're thinking I’m crazy, Ken, and yes, it’s probably gonna end up in heartache, but I need to do this.”
“You’re right, I think you're crazy. But I’ve also seen Raoul Burlusconi and I know I’d be doing the same.” She smirks as our burgers arrive at the table.
“So tell me, how big actually is the king of the west coast?” she asks with a glint in her eye and a wicked smile on her face.
***
I finish photographing Masie Turner for her headshots and watch how her mom admires her fondly in her Pageant style dress. Apparently, she’s gonna be LA’s next biggest thing. It’s what all these pushy parent types think, and I’ve got to hand it to them for their enthusiasm.
I wait until they’ve left before checking my phone in case Raoul has called before I start packing everything away. I don’t have anything from him, but I do have a new booking inquiry. I recognize the name as one of the guys Claude introduced me to at the club last night. He’s a fashion designer and we got talking about my work. I vaguely remember him telling me about a shoot he was planning at Venice beach in a few weeks. I check my schedule and confirm the booking. Then grab my camera, and the new Gucci handbag Claude insisted that I needed, before heading down the stairs to where Ludo is waiting for me in the car.
I feel bad that he’s been stuck with me all day, I’m sure he has better things to do. But none of this was my choice.
Ludo opens the door for me when he sees me step outside the building, and he doesn’t respond to my smile. He ignores all my attempts of making small talk on the way home and by the time we get back to Raoul’s place, I’m pissed at him for being angry with me for something that’s out of my control.
I wait until we’re alone in the hall before I confront him about it.
“I get that you don’t want to babysit me, and believe me when I say, the feeling’s mutual, but I don’t deserve for you to be so rude to me.” I give him my best attempt at a stern voice.
“You think that’s my issue?” Ludo laughs at me spitefully.
“I’ve babysat many of Raoul’s whores, it’s part of my job description.” His words instantly wound me and it takes a lot of hard work to hide that fact.
“So what is your issue?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and awaiting his response.
“I’ve known Raoul a long time. He was born to do great things, and to do that he has tough choices to make. Thankfully he was born without a conscience, it helps when you have to do ruthless things to hold on to your power.”
“I don’t see what this has to do with me,” I point out.
“Rhett is in hospital, Raoul’s father isn’t getting any younger, and he is soon to tie his family to another very influential one. At a time like this, distractions can be dangerous,” he states, looking me up and down with a snarl before he turns his back on me and walks away.
I stand and take in everything he just said, the temptation to run out the door weighing heavy on my mind. Maybe it would be best for both of us if I just leave. I could stay at the studio or with Kendra until I got my own place. But the thought of leaving Raoul breaks my heart. He makes me feel alive, even when he’s mad at me and if I did try running, I know he would find me. So I push the thought out of my mind and head upstairs for a shower.
