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Twenty Two
EVELYN
Maybe I took it too far, I said some things I shouldn’t have out of anger. But Raoul needs to understand that you can’t ever make a situation right by taking a life. I now have a man’s death on my conscience, how am I supposed to live with that?
If I’d have just kept my mouth shut, Kevin would be alive, and my mother wouldn’t have lost another man from her life.
Raoul never came back to me last night, he gave me the space I needed, and for the first time since I’ve been here, we slept apart.
I know the things I said to him hurt him, at one point I was convinced that I’d broken the great Raoul Burlusconi, but I must have forgotten who I was dealing with. It’s always been so easy to forget what he does. It was the same when I was a little girl and my father used to come home, I was always so happy to see him that I could pretend what he did wasn’t bad. But the reality of it all is, Raoul is dangerous, he makes his own rules, and I don’t know where we can go from here.
I get dressed and make my way downstairs, and my prediction that he’ll be in the dining room having breakfast turns out to be accurate.
He’s dressed in a suit and he doesn’t take his eyes off his plate when I take the seat beside him.
“Pancakes?” Wendy asks me, filling up my cup with what smells like freshly ground coffee.
“Just toast today, thank you,” I answer, forcing a smile for her.
Raoul remains silent, and it feels so awkward I wish I’d stayed in bed till after he left.
“Did you sleep well?” He breaks the silence eventually, his tone clipped and curt, putting a bad feeling in my chest.
I shake my head, I wouldn’t call crying until the early hours of the morning a good night's sleep.
“Maybe you can catch up on some sleep today. I could arrange for your mother to be flown here if you wish to be with her.” He makes no eye contact with me as he speaks and I try to hold back my shock. How could he think about having my mother here as a guest, knowing that he’s the cause of her misery? The man really is a monster.
“That won’t be necessary. I spoke to her last night, she has a friend with her. I don't really feel like helping her grieve right now,” I answer sharply.
“Of course,” he lowers his head understandingly. “If you change your mind, you must let me know.”
I nod to thank Wendy when she places my toast on the table.
“I’ll be late home tonight, I have a dinner date that I can’t get out of.” Raoul stands up and straightens his tie.
“A dinner date with who?” I can’t resist asking, Raoul meets clients he doesn't date them.
“Briella Quinn is in town and our fathers think it would be a good idea for us to meet up before the anniversary party. It’s been a long while since I last saw her.” He mentions it like it's no big deal.
“I’ll see you when I get home.” Leaning down, he places a kiss on top of my head, the same way he has every morning since I’ve been here, but this one sets a chill down my spine. And as he walks out the door, everything inside me wants to call out for him to come back.
I finish my breakfast and go back upstairs to the spare room. I really wish I had an appointment today, or that Kendra didn’t have to work. Trying to get some sleep turns out to be impossible when all I can think about is him and her together.
I wonder if he’ll hold her hand while they eat, or if he’ll kiss her when he leaves. I can’t bear the thought of him kissing her.
The first time she came to visit the Burlusconis, I was thirteen. I asked him if he wanted to kiss her and when he told me he didn’t, it made me so happy. Then that night when he came to my room and kissed me instead, I thought it was his way of telling me that he was going to try for us.
I’d gotten it so wrong. How can I blame Raoul for my own stupid fantasies?
I get up and move down the hall. I need a distraction from all the thoughts in my head and I know there’s a gym in one of these rooms. I try the door that’s closest to Raoul’s room first and I almost stumble backward when I take in what's inside it.
The room is much smaller than his and looks like it’s being used as a storage room. There are some antique wardrobes standing along the back wall and a hand-painted rocking horse that looks out of place, until I notice the wooden crib that's engraved with Raoul’s family crest and the wooden chair that’s covered in a patchwork blanket.
I pick up the blanket and hug it to my chest, taking a seat in the chair and staring at the furniture around me. The walls are plain white now, but they won’t be forever.
This will be the room where the child that Raoul and Briella make together sleeps, and the thought overwhelms me with sadness.
“I don’t think you should be in here.” I look up to see Wendy standing at the door looking sorry for me.
