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Thirty Four
EVELYN
“I’ve sold another print,” I tell Claude proudly as I close my laptop up and join him out on the deck. After all the shit that went down, Claude insisted that we stay in Vegas for a few weeks after Pava’s shoot. And here we are in one of his many sugar daddies’ penthouses.
“That’s incredible, where’s this one being shipped?” he asks, placing his pina colada on the table.
“Florida.” I smile as I take the lounger beside him. Since it had an upgrade, my website seems to have really taken off. I’ve taken orders for my canvases to be shipped all over America, and Claude’s friend has been taking care of shipments from the studio for me. I’m pretty sure the one he sent out to Rome last week was for Violetta.
“We should get out for a few hours, you can take some more photographs,” he suggests.
“I don’t feel very inspired right now,” I admit, hoping he’s not going to press me on it. Since I flew out here, I haven't had a decent night's sleep. The nightmares have only got worse, every time I close my eyes I see Kendra, lying on the floor. I see the agony in Raoul’s face when he thought Fabian was going to kill me, and there's no switching off from it all.
I don’t know what happened to her body, I left Raoul there with her after he called for Niko to take me home. No doubt he would have had someone take care of it. But she’ll never have a grave I can visit, and that makes me really sad because despite her betrayal, I can’t help feel sorry for her.
I know what it feels like to lose a father, I can’t imagine what it would have been like to watch him die.
“I’m worried about you,” Claude admits for the first time since he showed up at my studio to check up on me the day after I left Raoul.
“I miss the city and I miss my studio,” I admit.
“You miss Raoul.” He turns his head and stares at me, daring me to tell him he’s wrong.
“Don’t go there,” I warn him. No Raoul talk was a significant part of the agreement for me to stay out here with him.
“Maybe it’s time for you to go back,” he suggests.
“I can’t, it would be too hard.” There's no way I could be that close to Raoul, the temptation would be torture. I may have told him to marry Briella, but the thought of seeing them together makes me sick to my stomach.
“After this vacation is over, I’m going to stay with my mama,” I remind Claude, I can’t avoid her forever, she’s been calling me for over a week now. She met Kevin’s ex-wife at his funeral and learned why they broke up, turns out his interest in young girls didn’t start with me. And now Mama is desperate for me to let her make up for all the wasted years she let him come between us.
“I get that it will be hard, but LA is your home, you have the studio, you have friends.” Claude sits up and places down his drink.
“I had a friend,” I look back at him sadly.
“And what do you call me, bitch?” he gasps, pretending to be offended.
“Claude, I appreciate all of this, but we both know this is Raoul’s way of keeping an eye on me.” I address the elephant that's been chasing us around the fucking room since we arrived here.
“He’s let you go, but he’s never gonna stop caring.” Claude gives up to defeat. “Just think before you leave for good. You’re always gonna have a friend in me, and think about all the hot models you’ll get to hang around now you're my official photographer.” He picks up his cocktail again and sucks hard at the straw.
“I don’t know, Claude, I don’t even know where to start trying to put my life back together. I still feel like I’ve lost a friend even though it wasn’t real to her. Five years is really playing the long game. I can’t define what was real and what was part of her revenge plot.”
“It’s a total head fuck, and that bitch sure had some determination. Maybe you should try therapy, everyone in LA’s doing it?” he shrugs back at me.
“And how the hell do I explain my situation to a therapist? I killed a man, Claude.”
“You protected yourself, anyone would have done the same. You have to stop going over everything, you're a good person who was forced to do a bad thing. But you’re also the reason you and Raoul are still alive,” he reminds me.
“It’s the anniversary party tonight, isn’t it?” I had the date saved in the calendar on my phone, and I try not to think about Raoul’s father, proudly announcing his son’s engagement.
“Do you think he’ll go through with it?” Claude asks, sitting up and turning to face me.
“He has to, Raoul will put his family first, he’ll do his duty.”
“It’s a shame, your kids would have been beautiful,” Claude sniggers, and I slap him hard on the shoulder.
“You can’t hide here forever. You’ve just hit a dip on the rollercoaster of life, Evelyn Lane.” Claude gives me a sad smile before he abandons me to jump into the huge infinity pool that looks over the strip.
