Page 95 of His Sacrifice

Thirty Five

RAOUL

“Are you ready?” Mother lets herself into my old bedroom and sits down beside me on the bed. I’m staring at the huge diamond ring I’m about to present to Briella in front of all the people who are gathering downstairs.

“No,” I answer her honestly. I feel sick, but that's how it’s been since I let Evelyn walk away from me.

“It’s a beautiful ring.” Mom takes the box out of my hand and studies it.

“I had Niko pick it out,” I tell her, taking the box back out of her hand and tucking it away in my jacket pocket.

“I was hoping when the time came for you to be married, you’d use this one,” she opens the purse that matches her outfit, and takes out an antique-looking ring, holding it out to me between her thumb and finger.

“This was originally my grandmother's, my mother wore it too. She gave it to your father to propose to me with.”

“I’ve never seen you wear it.” I frown back at her.

“That’s because your father didn’t think it was grand enough.” She smiles sadly as she admires the sapphire that’s encased with tiny diamonds. “He wanted everyone to see that his future wife would have the best,” she adds.

“The women who have worn this ring have all had long, happy marriages, their husbands adored them. They may not have had grand houses and power, but they had so much love in their hearts to give. You inherited that from my side of the family.”

“I don’t love Briella Quinn, I never will. Not while she’s out there.” I feel cruel for crushing my mother’s hopes but I won’t lie to her.

“The Lane girl?” Mother smiles. “Violetta told me, she begged me to talk to your father and put a stop to all of this. But I can’t, darling, you know how much this union means to him.”

“I wish I could tell you everything.” I take the ring from her hand and hold it in mine. It’s beautiful, and I can’t help imagining how Evelyn’s face would study it fondly if she was who I was giving it to.

“I’ve always preferred not to know,” she whispers, and when I turn my head I see thirty years' worth of tears in her eyes.

“Gosh, I’ll ruin my makeup, Antonio spent an hour covering these wrinkles.” She waves a hand in front of her face and stands up to leave.

“Be happy, my beautiful boy.” She kisses my forehead before rushing to see herself out.

I stand up and check my appearance in the full-length mirror that's beside the window looking out onto the swamp behind the house. Evelyn’s swing is still hanging from the tree, and although the ropes are frayed and the wooden seat is rotten, I can still imagine her wide smile as she travels through the air.

“Sorry to interrupt ya.” I spin around when I hear a voice that can’t be mistaken.

“There be quite the crowd down there ya know.” Briella steps closer to me timidly. “Would ya believe me if I told ya that I was nervous?” She laughs awkwardly.

“I’m nervous too,” I admit.

“Now, you don’t expect me to believe that a man so grand as yaself would be nervous.” She straightens out the lapels of my jacket and it feels so foreign.

“I was tinkin’, maybe…” She swallows nervously. “We should be havin’ our first kiss up here alone, like a practice run if ya know what I mean?” The girl looks stunning, her red hair in perfect curls and her emerald green eyes sparkling at me. She deserves to be worshipped for all that she’s worth and knowing I’ll never be able to, riddles me with guilt.

“Sure.” I nod my head, and take a deep breath as I lean my head into hers. I brush my nose against her cheek, and when I close my eyes, I’m cursed with another vision of Evelyn. I try and push past it, sliding my hand into Briella’s hair, but it doesn't feel right between my fingers, and the pain of all that I’m missing buries itself deeper inside me.

Briella's breath is touching my lips now, and I brace myself for her contact.

“Ya really don’t want to kiss me do ya?” she says, and I feel all the tension drain out of my body.

“I want to want to, believe me. I want this to be as easy as it can be for us.” I scrub my hand over my face. Jesus Christ, if I can’t even kiss the girl, how am I supposed to spend a lifetime with her?

“Have ya ever thought of telling ya father to go fuck himself?” She looks at me and smiles mischievously.

“What?” I laugh, the girl really doesn’t hold back.

“Plenty of times,” I answer.

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