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“They cut her, they came inside her, and she stopped fighting them because she had nothing left. There were five men, Troj. Five, all armed, and I was tied to this fucking post. So you tell me what the fuck I was supposed to do other than watch and suffer right along with her?” His skin turns red with frustration, and his eyes strain to hold in his tears. I drop my grip and step away from him, stumbling back against the wall and sliding onto my ass. His words keep repeating in my head and I grab handfuls of my hair, trying to tug out all the images his words have put in there.
“I know you're hurting, Troj, but don't think for a second that I wouldn’t have saved her if I could’ve.” His heavy boots thunder out of the cabin, and I stare at the spot on the floor that’s stained red with blood.
“Let’s get you out of here.” Brax tries to lift me up but I shove him away. I see her in front of me, just like Storm described. Crying for me while those bastards took her. I slide my hands back through my hair, trying to see a way forward from all this.
I have five men to focus on, to find and kill, but then what? How can I convince her, or myself, that everything will be okay after this?
My head is spinning, probably due to lack of sleep and the fact I haven’t eaten anything since before the fight. I place my arms over my knees and bury my head in the space between them. Trying to blank everything out around me just for a second.
“Troj, we should go. Prez, just called.” I look up and see Nyx standing in front of me.
“He’s called us back to the club, there’s a complication.”
“What kinda complication?” I ask, finding enough strength to stand up on my feet and pull myself back together.
“That address we got. It’s on a commune, Prez suspects it’s where the rest of the Albanians are hiding out.”
“Then we take them all fucking down.” I stand up, the thought of making them all hurt pumping me with that drug my body gives off for fuckin’ free.
“And how are we supposed to know if there are women and kids there?” Nyx points out. “Come on, man. I know you're hurting, we’re all hurting for ya, but that’s not who we are,” he reminds me.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” I admit, roughly shoving past him and heading out of this hell hole.
When we get back to the club, we all head straight to church. Prez is waiting, rubbing his temples and looking tired.
“I know this ain't what you wanna hear, Troj, but we can’t just storm in there and put innocent people at risk,” he explains calmly.
“Innocent people.” I laugh that cruel laugh I’ve perfected over the past twenty-four hours.
“Shaniya was innocent people, Prez,” I remind him.
“We don’t know how many Albanians are left, we could be walking into a war we ain't ready for. And those men could be our key to knowing who the man in the mask was.
I’m just asking ya for some patience. I got Autumn and Tac scoping the place, soon as we get an idea how many, and the women and kid status, we’re taking action.”
“Autumn!” I stare back at him. “What the fuck is he doing back here?” I question.
“I called him,” Prez admits. “You need people around you, and the club needs all the numbers we can get right now.”
“Fine, get whatever intel you need, but as soon as we get the all clear, we’re moving in. I ain't sitting on this one. I want every mother fucker connected with Cooper dead.” I get up and make my way to the door without waiting for the gavel to hit.
“And what about the man in the mask?” Prez questions, halting me in my tracks.
“We find out who he is, and then I make him wish his mother had fucking swallowed him.” I walk out of the chapel and head for the clubhouse needing a drink, a joint, or anything to get my head back to being numb again.
“So you’re alive then?” a voice calls out at me from the other side of the yard, and when I look over my shoulder I see Rogue marching toward me. She’s wearing one of Grimm's hoodies, and I can only just see the bottom of her cut-offs beneath it. She looks so different, tired and drained.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, I figured only death would keep you from being with Shaniya right now. She’s awake by the way,” she stares back at me judgingly.
“Get off my back, Rogue,” I warn, continuing to walk toward the clubhouse. Last thing I need is this fucking lecture.
“Do you even care? Jesus, Troj. I really thought she meant something to you.” I know exactly what she’s doing, she’s baiting me, but I ain’t biting.
“You selfish cunt,” when she calls out after me I turn back around, marching back at her. “Stop meddling, Rogue, it don’t suit you.”
“Just tell me why. Why haven’t you been there for her? If you saw the mess she was in… She’s asking for you, Troj, she needs you and I haven't got any answers for her.” Rogue looks so fucking mad at me, but no madder than I am at myself.
