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I stumble backward and all the air rushes from my lungs. I can’t hear anything except the pounding of my heart. He was in love with Sophie? But Sophie’s with Cade. Did something happen with them before Sophie and Cade got together? Does he still have feelings for her? Does Cade know? These and more questions race through my mind and I can’t process them fast enough to even consider the answers. Was I the rebound? Am I still the rebound? I feel like an idiot. I’m second choice because he can’t be with who he really wants to be with. I thought his heart had been broken after a failed relationship, not because he was in love with someone out of reach. Suddenly, I can’t breathe, and I need to be anywhere but here.
I manage to make my legs work and pretty much run through the security door and out into Eden. My head is down as I make for the exit. I need some air. I should have gone out the back of Eden so I didn’t have to see anyone, but I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I can’t go back now. I can’t risk running into Seb or Paisley. I do run into someone, though, and I lift my head to apologize, my heart sinking when it’s Ryder standing in front of me. Tears are running down my face, and he frowns.
“Hey, what’s wrong? I’ll get Seb,” he says, his hand reaching for my arm.
“No,” I shout. “I just need some air.”
I shake off his hand and try to get past him, but he steps in front of me.
“Wait. What’s happened?”
“Please, Ryder,” I beg, looking over my shoulder. “Let me pass.” When he still doesn’t move, I lift my eyes to his. “Please.” His eyebrows are pulled together in concern, but eventually, he steps aside. “Thank you,” I whisper before rushing past him and out the door.
The cool night air hits my skin as I find myself on the sidewalk. I walk a little way along from Eden before stopping outside one of the storefronts and trying to catch my breath. My stomach churns with everything I’ve just heard. It somehow changes everything knowing it was Sophie who broke him. It wasn’t a relationship that had run its course, but I still can’t make sense of all of it. What does make sense is why Seb was so reluctant to open up to me. He wants to be with Sophie, but he can’t, so he’s settled for me. Hell, we even look alike, blonde hair and blue eyes. I’ve been such an idiot. Being second best isn’t something anyone wants. I love him, but I know now he doesn’t love me. I was just someone to fill the hole in his heart that Sophie knowingly or unknowingly left behind. My heart’s breaking, though, and I’ve no idea what I’m going to do.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-NINE
Seb
Ifollow Paisley out of my office and into Eden. She’s right. I have to open up to Taylor. I don’t want her to know how much of an idiot I was, falling for Sophie, but if what Paisley said is right, she has to know that she isn’t my second choice. That isn’t what’s happening here. I should have told her. She’s asked me often enough, but I was thinking of myself and not her. I was so intent on Sophie and Cade never finding out that I thought I could move forward without telling her. That it would be one less person in the world who knew. I know now that can’t happen. Taylor’s the most important person in my life and she has to come first, however awkward the conversation will be.
When we get back to the table, Taylor’s not there. Ash and Ivy are sitting down, so she can’t be dancing. Maybe she’s in the bathroom.
“Where’s Taylor?” Nash asks when Paisley sits down next to him.
“I was just about to ask you that,” I say.
He frowns. “She went to look for you about five minutes ago. She came and asked where you were. I told her you were in your office. Didn’t she find you?”
I shake my head, my eyes going to Paisley. “No. She didn’t.”
“She definitely went through the security door. I saw her,” Nash says.
My stomach rolls and I feel like I’m going to throw up. “Do you think she overheard us talking?” I ask Paisley, whose eyes are wide, and her face is pale.
“I don’t know,” she whispers.
Nash looks between us. “What’s going on? What were you talking about? I thought you went to the bathroom, Paisley.” She leans in close to Nash and whispers in his ear. His eyes widen as he looks at me.
“Fuck! I need to find her,” I say, turning from the table and walking away.
“I’ll come with you,” Paisley says.
I close my eyes as I hear Cade ask Nash what’s going on. I don’t really care who knows what right now. I just want to know where Taylor is.
I’m heading for her apartment with Paisley behind me when Ryder appears.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he says, glancing past me to Paisley.
“Not now, Ryder. I need to find Taylor.”
I start to walk past him when he grabs my arm. “Did you guys have a fight?”
I spin around. “What do you mean? Have you seen her?”
“She’s outside. I tried to stop her, but she said she wanted some air. She was crying.”
“Fuck!” I cry, looking at Paisley. “She overheard us, didn’t she?”
