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“I don’t think we can.”
“Look at me, Taylor.” I wait until she lifts her head, my heart squeezing in my chest when I see tears pooling in her eyes. “Talk to me.” She shakes her head. “Why not?”
“You won’t want to hear what I have to say.”
“Try me.”
She sighs loudly but holds my gaze. “I’m falling in love with you, Seb.”
All the air rushes from my lungs, and I sit back on my heels. “What?”
I hang my head and blow out a breath. She can’t be in love with me. That’s not how this was meant to go. My heart’s pounding in my chest and noise rushes through my ears. This is what I was afraid of happening. I never wanted to be the reason for Taylor’s hurt, and I never wanted to break her heart. I know all too well what that feels like. Regardless of that, it seems to be happening anyway. I know for sure I can’t say the words back to her, even when there’s a physical pain in my chest knowing I’m not going to be able to kiss her or hold her again. We got too close and spent too much time together. I should have seen what was coming, but I was selfish and didn’t want to walk away.
“Say something,” she whispers.
I can’t bring myself to look at her, not when I can hear the hope in her voice. The hope that I’ll say I feel the same, that I love her too. I can’t let myself be that vulnerable again, no matter how much I might want it.
I sigh. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“That you feel the same or that one day you might.” Her voice wobbles with emotion, and it takes everything in me not to pull her into my arms.
“Taylor.” My voice is pained, and I know she hears it.
“It’s okay. I get it.”
It’s not fucking okay, but I can’t tell her what she wants to hear.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
She gives me a small smile and pulls the comforter tighter around her body. “It’s my fault. I was playing with fire from the second I saw you. It was only a matter of time before I got burned.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, standing up and dragging my hand through my hair. “I should go.” I know I’m running away, but it seems easier than staying and facing up to what she’s telling me.
“Okay,” she whispers, and pain spikes in my chest. Despite that, I walk to the door, and she follows.
“Bye, Taylor.”
“Bye, Seb.”
I step outside and she closes the door behind me. I drop my head back onto the wood and close my eyes. I can’t push down the feeling that I’m making a mistake. It feels like I’m losing my best friend. Maybe I haven’t been as successful in guarding my heart as I’d thought.
CHAPTERTHIRTY
Seb
The next couple of weeks drag by, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I miss Taylor. I miss holding her. I miss kissing her. Hell, I just miss being around her. I’ve seen her a handful of times in Eden and Ashlyn brought her to Thursday roast last week, but it’s not enough. Things were a little awkward between us at my parents’ place, and it’s never been like that, not even when she was waving her pink vibrator in my face. I fucking hate how it is between us now. I’m a miserable fucker too, snapping at the staff and the customers. Ryder’s had to ask me more than once to take a break.
It’s my day off, and I sit on the sofa in my apartment, staring at my phone. I’ve typed out a handful of messages to Taylor but deleted them all. I have no idea what to say, but I miss her and desperately want to reach out. I jump when the phone suddenly rings in my hand. For a split second, nerves explode in my stomach at the thought that Taylor might be calling me, but when I look down, it’s Cade’s name flashing across the screen and I’m more than a little disappointed.
“Hey, man,” I say as I answer.
“Hey, Seb. Are you busy?”
“Nope. What do you need?”
“Sophie’s sick and I’m on call. I have to go out for an hour. Can you come and sit with her? I don’t want to leave her on her own. I’ve tried Paisley and Ash but neither is picking up.”
A couple of months ago, I would have freaked out if he’d asked me to spend some time alone with Sophie, and while I’m concerned she’s sick, it’s because she’s a friend and nothing more.
