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Chapter Seven
Maceo
Goddamnit, this woman infuriates me like no one else.I can barely contain my anger to control the speed of my bike, racing away with Josephine at my back where she belongs.
I admit it. I fucked up when I left on my mission. I was working on autopilot like I always do when on an assignment. I had every intention of spending the night with Josephine before Gauge’s text came through.
Gauge wasn’t exaggerating when he texted SOS. We reserve that message for the worst of the worst missions. It means grab your shit and go. You find out the details as you head to the destination.
In my head, I thought I explained it well enough to her, but I forgot she wasn’t accustomed to the ways of the MC. There’s no explaining needed for other MC members. We all know the drill.
I’ve never had to explain the who, what, when, where, and how of the itinerary to a woman. Telling her I had to bounce and giving her a kiss goodbye without explaining what was happening was a complete failure on my part. I should have taken a minute to fill her in. I was leaving for a serious job where I would be unable to contact her.
Of course, I saw her text messages come through and I listened to her voicemails. They were some of the sweetest things I’ve read or heard in my entire life, especially coming from her. My reasoning for not responding was simple. I knew if I called her and heard her sweet sing-song voice, I wouldn’t be able to get off the phone, or focus on the task at hand. I knew if I sent her one text message, it would lead to more texting, taking me away from the mission.
The more distractions I indulged in, the longer it would take to complete the mission, which in turn would make it take longer to get back home. But reading and listening to those messages was something I took comfort in each and every day. And I was an asshole for not returning those comforts.
In hindsight, my lack of a response was the worst thing I could have done. If one of my brothers did what I did to a woman they cared for, I’d be the first to call him out on his thoughtlessness. Why the hell was it acceptable for me to do it? Simple, it wasn’t.
When her final text rolled through on day five of the mission, it completely threw me.
*Fuck off, Maceo!*
It was the moment all the pieces came together to show me my mistake. I quickly sent a text and it immediately bounced back.
She fucking blocked me.
There’s nothing scarier than the moment you realize everything you never knew you wanted is slipping through your fingers because of your own fuckup.
I started calling her, but it wasn’t going to work, for the same reason as the text not going through. I yelled across our shitty hideout house for Gauge to give me his cell. But she wouldn’t answer it. Probably screening her calls like a good little girl should when receiving unknown numbers. I called two more times and was greeted with her voicemail each time. Doing the only thing I could, I left her a voicemail, hoping she would listen to it and call back.
When Punk called to tell me he inadvertently spilled the beans about talking to me the night before, I understood why she snapped. I hung up and grabbed Triple’s cell next and it was more of the same, her voicemail and me trying to explain myself.
Hoping for better odds, I grabbed all of my team’s cells and tried calling her from each one of them. But she didn’t answer. Message after message came pouring out of me. I was hoping and praying she would listen to one.
I’m not proud to admit it, but I started losing my shit in front of my whole damn team. They were already on edge over the disheartening mission we were working. I flipped the room, screamed, and pounded on my chest as my worst fears were sinking in. I finally found the woman of my dreams and I fucked it up.
My God, she must have thought I just fucked her and left after we finished, because I never explained why I was leaving. It would have taken a minute—a fucking minute—and I wouldn’t be in the position of losing her. My stomach rolled and I raced to the bathroom, vomiting.
Gauge did everything he could to console me, but I was far past calming down. I needed to comprehend what she was going through the last few days for her to give me the middle finger. Maybe there was more to it. I needed to know if there was. I didn’t want to invade her privacy, but she wasn’t giving me any other option.
I found my cell and accessed her accounts, going through her recent emails. All business and nothing else. I did the same with her texts and it was similar, aside from what she had been sending me. There was a recent text sent from Jacob, but she hadn’t responded to it. I disregarded it as I’m sure she had. But it was when I went through her call log that my heart stopped.
She had called her fucking ex not thirty minutes after sending me her last text and then blocking me. Her call with him had lasted an hour.A fucking hour!
No. No. No.This could not be happening. I fucked up, and she was running back to her ex-boyfriend?Fuck no!
I fired off a text to Punk since I knew she was communicating with him, and he would ask her about the prick if I ordered it. Things went from bad to worse.
Josephine’s a smart woman. It wasn’t entirely Punk’s fault he asked her not to delete my messages and she connected the dots, but as soon as I inquired about Jacob, she realized I invaded her personal life without consent.Fuck me!
My fury was being an equal-opportunity cunt and taking it out on everyone.
Punk was able to convince Josephine to unblock me, at least. I took full advantage by bombarding her with texts and voicemails. I was such a sap in all those messages, confessing my feelings and hopes for us in the future.
For two weeks I left her messages. And for two weeks, I got no response back. I finally understood what she was going through those five days I hadn’t responded. The worry and heartache she had for me matched mine for hers exactly.
At least I took comfort in the fact Josephine hadn’t reached out to her ex again. Perhaps it was something she needed to do for closure in order to move on with me. Yes, thathadto be the reason for her calling him.
