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I change behind the curtain in the clinic office. I’m not sure why I had to strip down, but whatever. Standard procedure, maybe?
So far, I’ve peed in a cup, had my blood pressure measured, and my blood drawn. Based on my family history with twins, Doctor Stoll wants to do an early ultrasound as a precautionary.
The clinic put us in an extra-large exam room when we asked if it was okay to have Punk with us. The staff was more than fine with the arrangement. I also declined to have a nurse present since I wasn’t going to be exposing myself, and if I was, I’d be fine since my husband is present to keep watch.
Maceo and Punk gab away while I change into the disposable paper gown. “I don’t see what’s awkward about this. It’s comfortable,” Punk says.
“It looks sort of relaxing,” Maceo agrees. “You get to lay there and chill while being examined.”
“Yeah, no one grabbing your balls and telling you to cough.”
“Or shoving a finger up your butt to check your prostate.”
I open the curtain, stopping in my tracks. Punk sits on the exam table with his boots in the stirrups. Maceo is standing next to the examination cart playing with a speculum. He looks up at me and holds up the medical device. “Josephine, what’s this for?”
“Oh, my God.” I shuffle in my socks across the room and grab the speculum from his hands. “Why are you playing with this? Where did you get it?”
Maceo points to the medical cart. “It was sitting out. It looks like a duck-bill. What is it?”
Punk scratches his head. “It’s one of those tools to keep your mouth open, to swab the back of your throat for viruses and bacteria, right?”
“Don’t put it in your mouth,” I say with exasperation, placing the device back on the cart. “It’s a vaginal speculum. Why is it out? Hopefully, it wasn’t a leftover from the patient before. We should wash our hands.”
“No, it’s new. The nurse set it up while you were getting your blood drawn by the phlebotomist,” Maceo says. He picks up the speculum again. “How do you operate it?”
Again I grab it from him and slam it on the cart. “Stop playing with it.”
“Hey! Check it out. The table reclines,” Punk says as he hits a button on the side of the table and leans back. He makes robotic noises, raising and lowering the table.
Maceo picks up the broom and cytobrush from the tray, presenting them to me. “What are these? Pubic hairbrushes?”
I’m in the middle of wrestling the pap smear tools from Maceo’s hands and yelling at Punk to stop playing with the table when Doctor Stoll knocks once and walks in. We freeze. Doctor Stoll looks shocked, but then he shakes his head and closes the door.
I snatch the equipment from Maceo and nudge him away from the cart. “Sorry. I brought my adult children with me today.”
Doctor Stoll looks amused as he eyes Punk with his feet in the stirrups. “So I see. Lucky for you, I’m used to dealing with children during these appointments.” He pulls out a sucker from his laboratory coat and hands it to Punk. “I’ll give you a lollipop if you get off the table and let me examine Jo.”
“Sweet!” Punk swings his feet out of stirrups and hops off the table. He grabs the candy from the doctor and pops it in his mouth. “Do I get another if I behave through the appointment?”
“We’ll see,” Doctor Stoll says, patting the table for me to climb on. I situate myself on the table while the doctor rolls over the sonography equipment. “I’m surprised you wanted another person in the room for this examination. Had I known you’re okay with spectators, I would have asked our medical intern to come in to observe me working.”
“Oh. Well, bring them in. It doesn’t bother me.” It’s only an ultrasound.
Doctor Stoll smiles widely. “You don’t mind?”
I wave my hand dismissively. “No. It’s cool.”
“Thank you so much, Jo. Many patients don’t understand this is a medical learning tool for these students.”
“They need the experience, right?” It’s not a big deal.
Doctor Stoll goes to the door and ushers a young man into the room.
Maceo comes to stand by my examination table, laying a possessive hand on my shoulder, glowering at the student. “What? No female interns? It has to be a dude?”
“Our female interns get the most interaction with our patients. It’s the males who need more exposure,” Doctor Stoll says evenly.
I pat Maceo's hand reassuringly. It’s not like strangers haven’t seen my exposed navel before when I go running in my sports bra. He’s being silly and jealous for no reason. It’s kind of cute.
