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“Really. You just wait and see.” Setting the ingredients on the counter, I crack some eggs into a bowl and add the milk, maple syrup, and a cinnamon sugar mixture. Once it’s whisked to perfection, I smash some bananas into the bowl, mix in some crumbled bacon bits, and whisk everything together with the egg batter.
“That doesn’t look very good,” she mutters under her breath, stealing a piece of bacon and shoving it into her mouth.
“When Lee was your age, this was her favorite. In fact, it still is her favorite breakfast food.”
Her blue eyes light up. “Really? Did she eat it when I was in her belly, too? Is that why French toast is my favorite?”
I chuckle. Can’t argue with that logic. “Oh yeah, that’s why. She loves it, so you love it.” She thinks about my answer for a moment, then nods in acceptance. She opens the bread bag and pulls out several pieces of the thick Texas toast, setting them beside the bowl for me.
Carefully, I dip the bread into the mixture, then place the coated pieces on the griddle; instantly, they sizzle from the heat.
“What was Lee like when she was my age? I know that you met her a long time ago.” As the days pass, Olivia asks more and more questions about her birth mother, and I love the idea that she’s beginning to accept that Leeisher mother. Therapy has been great for her.
“She looked just like you. Bright blue eyes and silky blonde hair.” A smile spreads easily across my mouth at the memory of Lee when I first met her when we were children. “She loved to talk a lot. Even when I tried to ignore her, I couldn’t because she made me happy and made me want to listen to her for hours.”
“What did she talk about?”
“Random things.” I laugh. “One time, she spent two hours talking to me about the main character in a TV show she’d seen once. I didn’t say a single word the entire time.” She practically had a conversation with herself, but I fell for her easily when I saw how passionate she was.
“She would laugh at her own jokes, and her laugh was always so loud that you could hear it from a mile away.”
Olivia giggles, helping me to dip the bread in the batter. “Eli told me you guys met in foster care. I’m sorry you didn’t have parents, but I’m glad you had Lee. She’s the greatest.”
“Yeah, she is pretty great.”
Olivia nods. “She was my best friend when I thought she was my aunt. Now, she’s my mom, but I don’t know if we’re still friends or not,” she says innocently, unaware of how much sadness her words cause me.
“Do you want her to be your friend still?”
She immediately nods. “Yes, I love Lee. But I don’t think she wants to be my friend anymore.” I pause, turning my attention toward her.
“What makes you think that?”
“Because now she has to be my mom, and she didn’t have to be my mom before.”
“Lee loves you so much. I promise you that. And I swear to you that she still wants to be your friend. Your best friend. Whatever you want, she will be there for you.” She nods, her eyes focusing on the task of dipping the bread. “Talk to Lee, and tell her how you feel. I promise she’ll listen just like I am.”
“I’m scared. I don’t want her to be mad at me.”
“She’ll never be mad at you. But, if you don’t want to talk to her, that’s okay. You can always talk to me.”
“Do you think she wants to be my mom?”
“More than anything. One day, when you’re older, you’ll understand why she couldn’t keep you when you were a baby. But I promise that now, she wants you more than anything, and she’ll be whatever you need.”
She stays silent while we finish the French toast. Once it’s complete and I’m removing the final piece from the griddle, she finally speaks.
“Okay, I believe you. One day, I’ll ask her. I’d like to have a mom again.”
Once again, my heart aches for the innocent little girl who doesn’t understand why Rachel was killed or why Lee was unable to raise her.
“Come on, let’s go tell everyone that dinner is ready.”
thirty-five
ELI
I never thoughtI’d see the day when a child was living in my house.
