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“Not at all, but that would put me three class periods with him in a row.”
She raises her eyebrows. “And?”
And I will probably lose my mind, my sanity, and my panties.
I smile grimly at her. “You know what? It’s fine.”
She smiles, although it’s a little off. “Good, it’s settled then.”
She dismisses me and I grab my things, making my way into the busy hallway where a heard of boys goof off.
Maturity comes with age, they say.Theylie.
I remember thinking in middle school how I could not wait for everyone to become more mature in high school, to be civil, and less noisy in the morning. I absolutely dread mornings, and without my coffee and headphones, you’d see me on the latest episode ofSnapped. And judging by the three boys using rolled-up papers as penises as they go around yelling, “You got boned,” I can tell maturity is obviously a thing boys do not possess.
I avoid one boy, who comes at me with his paper penis, wiggling it around in a circle at his crotch, by sidestepping him. I make my way down the green-and-cream tile floors to the lunchroom. The smell of tacos and cake hit my nose, making me smile. I’d kill for a taco, but Mom is making me do this diet with her.
I see myfriendssitting at the table directly in the middle of the cafeteria, making sure they’re front and center. I pull out a chair. Sitting down and reaching for the grilled chicken salad Mom packed me this morning. An avocado sauce to go on top because ranch has been officially banned from the house. “Hey, Cal,” Jennifer purrs.
Jennifer is beautiful, a Megan Fox look-alike with her long black hair, bright blue eyes, and killer body. She’s tall and slim. Probably can wear a bralette without the fear of a nipple flashing. And if it wasn’t for her personality, she’d easily be the prettiest girl at school. But alas, she is as mean as they come. “Hey, Jen. How’s your day going?”
She sighs, throwing her stick of celery down. “It’s been pretty lame, but then, I got a class switch, right? So here I’m thinking, this fucking sucks, you know? But I walk into my new government class and there stands this beast of a man.”
My body stiffens, my bite of salad far too aggressive. I don’t know why I’m mad. There are how many girls here at this school? Of course they’re all going to see him, but something about Jennifer being anywhere near him has my blood boiling.
“So, after spending an hour staring at him, I’m in a much better mood.” She smiles, stealing cake off Macy’s plate, taking a big bite and groaning.
“I heard his family owns this school, his great-great… You get it, a really old ancestor of his built this place. Makes sense since his last name matches the one on the school,” Macy offers up.
“I heard he’s only here because he wasn’t smart enough to take over his family business,” Veronica muses.
I frown. “How do you guys know all of that?”
“Because when a hot teacher shows up at school, we, as hormonal teenagers, must investigate. Oh, and Google. You can actually google this man, but he has no social media accounts.” Macy shrugs. “Kind of weird if you ask me.”
“I just wonder how old he is, you know? He doesn’t look forty, but definitely not twenty-five either,” Veronica says, grabbing her water.
“I guess you could always google it.” I laugh a little, but no one returns the sentiment.
“You must be so tired, Cal,” Jennifer says, a mock frown on her perfectly shaped lips.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because it must be so tiring to be fake all the time. Miss Good Girl, always smiling, happy. I mean, don’t you get tired of pretending?”
I bare my teeth in a fake smile. “I don’t think I know what you mean.”
She rolls her eyes. “No one is that happy, especially not someone who doesn’t know who her father is.”
Ouch. Yeah, that hurt. The little sharp pain in my chest wraps around my heart like a thorny vine, squeezing tight. I wish I could tell the whole world who my father is. That he’s our governor, actually, but yeah, she’s right. Sometimes, I do pretend, because she almost has it right. It’s not that I don’t know who he is, no; it’s that he doesn’t actually want me.
Macy stiffens next to Jennifer, eyes downcast.
I smile, doing my best not to lose my cool. I won’t let her win by reacting to her jab. “You’re right. How could I be happy?” I snap the lid back on my salad and grab my things. “Hope you guys have a good day.
Macy and Veronica smile sadly, telling me bye. Jennifer waves her little finger, grinning.
I walk to the courtyard, letting the rays of sunshine wash over my skin. Letting the light breeze wash away the insults. Because at the end of the day, words can only hurt me if I allow them to.
