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“One of the most selfless acts I’ve ever known, Gage.”
“I know you only got a couple of hours with him in all the time you were together and the endin’ broke your spirit.” She held her breath, knowing what he was going to say. “If you need to be with him to replace that memory, I’d understand.”
He pulled back and she stared at him, an emotional storm of confusion and longing for what he offered. “Let me love you, Rowan. Maybe it will give you peace.”
After a long moment, she nodded.
* * *
Gage took Rowan’s hand, led her inside, and walked up the stairs to her bedroom. His heart slammed inside his chest as he prepared to touch her, truly touch her, for the first time.
Standing facing her beside the bed, he took a deep breath. What he wanted to give her - what he hoped would help her - wouldn’t come without personal cost.
Quietly, he told her, “Close your eyes, Rowan.”
She did and he pulled the soft dress over her head as she blushed hot: still innocent, his girl. Her breasts were fuller than usual, swollen as her body prepared to give birth and enable her to feed her child. Her belly button was pushed out with the pressure of the baby filling her stomach.
He murmured reverently, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sight more beautiful.” They were the last words Gage would utter for almost an hour but it was something she needed to hear.
Lifting her hand, he kissed the palm and placed it on his shoulder to keep her oriented as he went to his knees in front of her. He pressed his lips to her belly as he pulled her panties away.
That Rowan was pregnant with another man’s child hurt his heart, but it wasn’t jealousy. If he’d been a better man, a stronger man, it could have beenhischild growing inside her. His pain and regrets weren’t important.
Only what Rowan needed mattered.
Standing, he pulled his shirt over his head and placed her hand over his heart. He wanted her to feel it beat, to know it was strong and steady.
Steeling himself against how it would feel when she said another man’s name, knowing it would cut deep, he accepted the pain he’d earned for betraying her young heart.
He stripped his clothes away and took her in his arms. For several minutes, he simply held her and made love to her mouth.
Over the months since Bennett died, he’d come to understand that Rowan’s first and only time with her husband had been filled with fear. She’d known every moment that he would die in her arms.
He couldn’t imagine the agony of such knowledge.
It spoke to her character, to who she was as a human being, that she’d embraced what she could of the time they had and loved Bennett as hard as possible.
This time - their first time together - he’d make sure there was no pain, no fear. Maybe it would heal some of the wounds on her heart.
No matter how long it took, Gage would convince her that shewasn’ta monster who would never be normal again.
Backing her carefully to the edge of the bed, he helped her lower to the mattress. On his knees, he kissed and touched her until she was breathless.
Only when she was moaning did he kiss along her jaw, down her neck, to lick the hollow at the base of her throat.
Her fingers went into his hair and he controlled his reaction to such a simple touch. Her other hand gently cupped the column of his neck.
Checking his pulse.
Moving over her collarbone and across her shoulder, he let himself relish her warmth and softness at long last.
She’d been his ideal for more than a decade and it seemed surreal to have her naked in his arms.
When his mouth closed over the peak, her upper body arched into him with a gasp. He caressed the other breast as her nipples drew tight from his attention. Plumping and squeezing, he let his hand drift lightly over her pregnant stomach.
The child she carried might not be his...but that didn’t lessen his fascination. As if the baby sensed his thoughts, there was movement under his palm. He released her breasts to place both hands over her belly, enthralled as he touched as much of her as he could. Settling on his heels, he explored her flesh with a feather light touch and smiled when the baby moved again.
When he lifted his face, Rowan’s eyes waited. She had a soft expression on her face. Barely audible, she said, “You don’t resent him.”
