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Everything had gonehorriblywrong.
As Rowan ran from Gage’s apartment above the family barn, Nina hurriedly dressed. She felt dirty, wrong in her skin.
The man she’d been having sex with minutes before pulled on jeans and boots and ran after the woman he loved. The woman Ninaalsoloved.
The woman they’d both been lying to for weeks.
Now that the damage was done, Nina recognized how fucked up her worldview really was. Stepping into her shoes, she climbed over the fence and walked into the woods.
No one could beat Rowan’s speed but she was scared of the dark. She used to have horrible nightmares and not remember them. Nina had listened to every word her best friend said - or screamed - in her sleep, and trembled inside.
Waiting for the day Rowan remembered...but she never did.
She’d been wearing a light blue shirt and Nina walked a straight line through the woods until she caught a glimpse of it in the pale moonlight.
Dropping to the base of a tree with her arms around her knees, Rowan’s long dark hair created a curtain that hid her as Gage walked back and forth calling for her, talking to her.
Moving behind a tree, Nina kept her eyes on Rowan to make sure she didn’t get scared outside at night.
Lowering enough to sit but still see her only friend in the world, Nina rested her cheek on her knee.
“I didn’t mean it, Rowan,” she whispered. “I got mixed up, scared to lose you, and wasn’t thinking it all the way through. You’re not like me. You’llneverbe like me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She watched her friend all night, saw when Gage raced back to the house to shower and change, and watched his expression of relief when he found a sleeping Rowan.
Party to the words Rowan told the man she’d been in love with since she was fourteen, Nina’s heart broke a little more.
She felt so much shame, so much confusion.
When Rowan kneed Gage and took off running to Miss Jeffries’ place, Nina walked back to his apartment to wait.
He limped up the stairs and she stared at him with her arms around her torso.
“I fucked up, Gage. I’m sorry.”
Shaking his head, he raked his fingers through his shaggy hair. “Nah. I’m older and I-I knew better. It all seems so clear lookin’ back. I feel like I just woke up from a dream.” Rubbing his lower belly, he whispered, “I’ll take you home when you’re ready. Maybe...maybe she’ll talk to me.” He lifted his face and she realized he was on the verge of tears. “Y’all leave today and I ruined everything.”
Uncertain how to comfort an emotional man, Nina used his bathroom to shower away the scent of sex.
Dressing in the clothes she’d worn to sneak out of the house, she left the bathroom and passed him on the way to the ground floor.
“Let’s go, Gage. Let’s get the scene over with.”
There wasn’t a scene.
Miss Jeffries dressed them both down but it was gentle and far less than they deserved.
Rowan kept her armor around her to the last but Nina knew they’d placed scars that would never truly heal on her heart.
* * *
Nina entered the kitchen after she showered again in fresh clothes, her bag over her shoulder.
“You been cryin’, honey?” Miss Jeffries asked her softly.
“Y-yes, ma’am.” She held out the letter Rowan left on her pillow. “She couldn’t really leave mad. I wish...I wish I had a heart like hers. I don’t know how tobe, Miss Jeffries.”
The elderly woman patted the table and put a plate of food in front of her. “You eat while I read this. The bus ride to New York is gonna be long.”
