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percy
"What?"A freight train is screaming through my head as I try to understand what she just said. It's not possible.
Oh god.
I stumble backward and Ian catches me before I land on my ass. "Fuck, hold on man." He helps to the chair and squats in front of me to talk but I can't process anything he's saying.
"Janie... what" My father walks over to my mother and the same confusion I'm feeling is plastered all over his face. He reaches out to touch her but she backs away. "What do you mean it was you? Why would you do this? You've ruined us!" He screams the last bit but my mother doesn't even flinch.
"Percival, the problem is you truly believe that and it's the reason I did it. You believe it's me who ruined us. You believed it was your son's girlfriend who ruined us. You believed it was Ian who ruined us. His mother. It's never ever been any of those people who destroyed us. It was you. You laid down with that woman and cheated on me and your family. You're the coward that decided to try and hide Ian from the world instead of taking responsibility for what you did." The soft angelic face of my mother turns into a mask of rage and disgust as she stalks forward making my father take steps back.
"For years, I've had to live with the fact that you slept with that woman. That you didn't respect me enough to stay faithful to your vows."
"Janie, I res-"
"Shut up! You don't get to speak anymore. You've had all the time in the world to speak. You've had all the time in the world to make this right. Decades I've waited and waited for you to do the right thing Percival. To become the man you and your family told the entire world you are. But more and more I see that everything you've ever been is a farce. A dirty lie that you've infected the public with and I've helped you spread it." My mother turns and walks over to Ian.
"Ian, I hated your mother. Not because she was a bad woman or because I thought I was better than her but simply because she had something that was strong enough to break my family apart. It wasn't her fault or yours. When you were born, I was in denial and thought that I could just ignore that something like this had happened to me. When you were older and it was clear that your mother needed help. I was scared that Percival would leave me to take care of you and her. But now that your older and I see how he still intended to neglect and ignore you I knew I had to do something. Ian, I've seen you grow up. I've seen you fight through not having a mother or a father. I've seen you accept a brother who you could have easily resented. I've seen you battle with demons that you should have never had to deal with on your own. You're such a good man and it kills me that all these years instead of opening up my arms to you I've been helping your father push you away. " She puts both her hands on his cheeks, cradling his face.
"Ian, I'll never be your mother and there's nothing I can do to get those years back, but if you'll have me, I'd love for you to be my son."
A damn breaks and Ian breaks down and wraps my mother up in a hug crying into her shoulder.
After a few moments, my mother turns and glares at my father. "I've thought about leaving you so many times. I'd divorce you and just leave without so much as a note."
"Janie, please, I love you. I'm sorry. Please." My father's face drains of color and for the first time, he genuinely looks scared. "I messed up, it was a long time ago. I've never done anything since that again. You've always been my first priority. "
"Really, have I? Percival, when was the last time you touched me? When was the last time you weren't so engrossed in the next charity event or the next story to break to just sit down and have a coffee with me? You may have not slept with anyone else but you've been cheating on me with every other aspect of your life for as long as I can remember. I love you Percy. I do with everything I have but I'm not enough." Tears stream down her face and my father rushes over to hold her.
"You're everything. You're more than enough. I can't do this without you Janie. Please, let me fix it. I'll do whatever you need me to do in order to fix this." My father holds her and I watch my mother's body go stiff. I never realized that they were so unhappy. My mother masked her sadness so well or maybe I just didn't take the time to really notice it.
"I don't know if you will ever be able to fix this. It's years of being broken. I will tell you that I'm with Percy with this. I don't care what lie you come up with, I'm not going to go along with it. Either you admit that this is your mistake and tell the world that Ian is your son or you can tell the world that you've lost your family because I'll go live with Ian before I stay here another night with you." The words fly out of my mother's mouth laced with thorns. Every one of them digging deeper into my father's skin. He called Ian here to get him to go along with acting like a charity case and expecting to get away with his infidelity for a few more years but instead my mother drops an ultimatum I don't think any of us saw coming.
My father looks down. I've never seen him so broken in my life. The man everyone sees as larger than life is uncertain and shaking like a leaf in front of his woman. I've always known that my mother held a lot of power I just don't think my father knew how much.
He raises his eyes to hers before he cuts them over to Ian who has come to stand next to where I'm sitting. My father nods, "I'll tell the world. I can't promise that we're going to have the best relationship but I will tell the world that you're my son."
"Thank you. It's all I've ever wanted. Just to be your son." Ian's voice is thick with emotion and my father nods again before turning back to his woman.
In a move I've never seen him do, my father drops to his knees and wraps his arms around my mother's waist. A mumbled I'm sorry coming from his direction. My mother's face is a mask of indifference. I don't think a few apologies are going to be enough to fix the relationship between the two of them.
Her eyes dart over to me and her eyebrows go up in recognition. The three of them might have shoveled through all of their shit but I'm still drowning. I accused Ella of something that she didn't do. I should have trusted her. I should have listened to her. There were signs all over the place that she didn't do it but I refused to listen.
She pushes away from my father and comes over to me, "Percy, tell me you didn't push her out of your life over this? If you really thought she loved you how could you think she'd do something like this?"
"Mom... I... I didn't even give her a chance to defend herself. I was so fucking horrible. A cad to the fucking extreme. Oh god..." Nausea clenches my gut and a cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. She thinks I had sex with Camille. I threw her out, forcefully. "Mom, I love her. What the hell am I going to do. She's gone and I can't get her back now." I drop my head into my hands and squeeze hard enough it feels like my skull might crack.
My father is the one to speak out, "You go fight for her. Don't be like me, Percy. If you love her you need to find a way to make this right. Go get her back."
"Come on, Percy. Let's go. I'll drive." Ian helps me out the chair and the both of us race out to the car leaving my parent's to figure out this mess on their own.
I have my own battles to fight and it starts with getting Ella to see how much I love her.
38
percy
“God dammit!”I smack my hand down on the steering wheel as i weave in and out of traffic. I’ve been trying to reach Ella but either she has me blocked or her phone is in some great fucking abyss because I can’t get a hold of her.
