Page 72 of Paging Dr. Douche


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Everything is fine.

“Fuck! Fucking bitch!” I swipe everything off my desk in an explosion of fury. And dig my hands into my hair tugging on the strands trying to get my anger under control. I push away from my desk and stalk over to the bathroom.

It’s pristine just like the rest of my office and my life. This woman is going to fuck everything up. I turn the water on and splash a bit on my face, but it does nothing to disperse the tension. I close my eyes and all I can see is that small woman staring up at me. Her smart mouth and that attitude. How fucking dare she stand up to me?

I slam my hand against the mirror, but this tension, this borderline fear, isn’t going away. I squeeze my eyes shut and try everything to get back to my state of zen.

… That video would run on all the blogs …

… it’s all that I’m passionate about …

… I’m not trying to ruin you …

… Percy …

I open my eyes and look into the mirror only to see the outline of my hard cock against my suit pants. This is what I need. My hand rushes down to my zipper and I waste no time tugging myself out of my pants.

My eyes close again as I jerk myself hard and images of that woman pop up in my head over and over. The way she had looked when she was walking towards me. How fucking adorable she was looking up at me over her glasses.

My arm pumps faster when I focus in on the way she’d smirked at me. That mouth, what I’d to that mouth, “Fuck!” I groan as I shoot my cum all over the sink and a wave of euphoria washes over me.

The second the euphoria recedes, shame takes its place. Am I that hard up to get a woman that I’m getting off on thinking about the same woman that is probably going to destroy my entire career?

“Jesus Christ, Percival, get your shit together.” I hunch over the sink to catch my breath before I wash up.

I need to get a step ahead of this, and I need to do it fast.

* * *

“Percy, I wish I could help you man, but without more information how am I supposed to find out who this woman is?” Greg asks me from across the desk.

“I told you all I know, she’s a journalist and she’s trying to fucking ruin me.” I run my fingers through my hair. Usually it doesn’t take much for me to get what I want done, but having to be so mysterious really isn’t helping my cause. Not even Greg knows about Ian and he’s my closest friend.

“Well if she’s a journalist and she smells a story I doubt this is going to be the last time you see her. What does she have on you that has your fucking panties in a twist like this?” Greg leans forward, probably trying to get some dirt on me himself.

“Don’t worry about it.” I look away.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say, look honestly if you’re worried about it that much then maybe you should just give her what she wants. I mean you have more money than you know what to do with. Pay her off and get on with your life.”

I turn my head back and squint my eyes at him, if it were that fucking easy why the hell would I have called him in here to figure this shit out with me, “She doesn’t want money, she wants me to do an interview.”

“Interview? You? But you nor your father, fuck I don’t even think there’s ever been an official statement from your grandfather that has run in the news before.”

All I can do right now is stare at him. He’s only saying shit that I already know. The Snow family doesn’t give interviews, our secrets stay in the dark where they should be.

“No shit Greg. That’s why I’m having a fucking dilemma right now. I can’t do the interview and she won’t take fucking money.” I hold my head in my hands starting to feel like I’m back at square one.

“Then friend, all I can do is tell you to pray she loses her nerve. Maybe she’s bluffing. You never know.”

Bluffing, no, this woman didn’t seem to be the type to bluff.

“I thought you were here to help me?” I sit back in my chair and look at Greg again.

“Getting the ladies, securing a fine bottle of cognac, even finding a little hotel on a remote island for you to have a tryst … I can do. Trying to figure out which of the thousands of journalists in the city has some dirt on the one person I thought was squeaky clean, not my forté.”

Squeaky clean, I thought I was keeping myself that way. No, it seems if I want to get this woman out of my life I just might have to get my hands a little dirty.

2. ella

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