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"I mean ..." I sighed. "Oh, I just feel absolutely awful."
"Oh my gosh. What is it, Alice? Tell me."
"So I'm going to tell you something. You have to promise you can't tell anyone. You have to promise you won't tell Rosalie."
"What is it, Alice? You're making me nervous."
"I just feel really bad because I've never told her. And, well, I just ..." I chugged on my coffee because the words I wanted to say wouldn't come."
"Hey, it's okay," Molly said quickly. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
"No, I actually do want to tell you. I think it will make me feel better about the situation. I need to talk to someone about it, you know."
"Then you can tell me. I promise I won't say anything to Rosalie."
"Okay. Well, years ago, back when we were in high school ..."
"Yeah?"
"Foster was having this party at his college."
"Okay."
"And ... well ..." I sighed. "Oh my God, this is so hard."
"Oh my gosh ... What happened, Alice?"
"Basically, I’ve always had a crush on Foster. I always thought he was cute. We were always friends. He would indulge me in starring in little movies that I would make with like my V8 camera."
"Your V8?"
"I mean my Hi-8," I said, laughing.
"Oh cool."
"Yeah. We just always got on. So when I heard about this party, I wanted to go, and I brought it up to Rosalie. She was a little bit of a Goody Two-shoes. We were in high school then. She didn't want to go, so I decided to just go by myself."
"Oh wow. Okay. How did you get there?"
I sighed. "Well, I knew this girl Annabel. She was a cheerleader. Loved dating older guys. Supposedly was dating a professional baseball player. She never told us who because he would be jailed if anyone found out."
"Oh shit, why?"
"Statutory rape, I think." I made a face. "She was seventeen, and from what I know, he was in his late twenties."
"Oh gross," Molly said.
"I know. Anyway, she had a car, and she drove us. Once we got to the party, she disappeared. I couldn't find Foster. I saw Oliver for a hot second. He was surprised to see me, but he didn't really say anything.
"So anyway, I'm sort of dancing around, and I'm drinking and I'm smoking weed. This is the first time I've ever had alcohol. It's the first time I ever smoked weed. And there were all these hot college guys flirting with me. And then I saw Foster."
"Okay," she said, smiling. "Wait, don't tell me. You lost your virginity to Foster at the party."
"No," I said, shaking my head. I sighed. "It was a lot worse than that."
"Oh shit. You didn't have a gang bang, did you?" Her eyes widened, and I shook my head.
"Can I finish my story, Molly?"
