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“Sorry, I was thinking.”
“Are you okay?”
Pursing my lips, I nodded. Despite Nick, I was more than okay right now. In another world, this would have been the perfect first date.
She glanced around before touching her foot to my calf. “Can we go for a walk on the beach?”
“Anything you want.”
I meant every word. I would burn the world down for her. I was feeling things and needed to get control of it immediately. A more permanent life with her would never be possible, and I hated myself for this. It was only torturing us both.
After declining dessert, I paid before we left. I kept a safe distance from her as we exited in case people were watching. We hiked down the small wooden walkway and down a set of stairs leading to the beach. We were now hidden from everyone except my security, trailing behind at an acceptable distance.
She stopped on the bottom step, bracing herself with her palm on my shoulder. “You’re gonna get sand in those fancy shoes.”
“They’re not that fancy.” I’d opted for a more casual look for the evening. A white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled to my elbows, light blue jeans, and a pair of tan Sperry’s. My gun, as always, was hidden from public view. This time, in my back waistband.
She laughed. “You’ve got to loosen up, handsome man. Live a little.”
“And taking my shoes off will somehow make me this wild guy?”
Fists balled on her hips, she wiggled her brows. “Human. We’re going for human here. I’m shocked you’re not wearing black.” She rolled her eyes. “Have you ever even had fun with a woman outside the bedroom before?”
I opened my mouth to reply.
“Not sexually.”
“Plenty of times.” I stepped out of my shoes and picked them up off the sand, hooking them on my fingertips. “There. Happy?”
A satisfied seal of approval painted her face, and she nodded, trekking toward the ocean. We strolled hand in hand next to the water. The warm, summer evening waves roared as they folded over our feet. She guided us a little further back to dry land, plopping down on her bottom in the sand. A tall wooden pillar supporting a pier towered next to us, serving as a shield from any people passing by.
Gazing down, I exhaled a deep breath of defeat and sat next to her, wondering why I’d let myself want her so much. She bent her legs, leaning close into my side, brushing away the loose strands of hair out of her face blowing in the breeze. I set my shoes down, then draped my arm over her shoulder, tugging her closer to my side.
“Can we just stay here forever?” She sighed, taming her hair once more.
“I have to admit, I could really get used to this too, amore. I don’t know what you’ve done to me. I haven’t decided if I like it yet.”
She sat back, twisting toward me. “You’ve never used that term of endearment with me.”
“What?”
“Amore.” Her pronunciation was off, but cute.
Quietly, I stared at her for a moment, rolling my tongue between my lips.Shit. It’d slipped. “Truthfully, I’ve never used that term with any woman I’ve dated, not even my fiancée. You’re the first.” And it was the honest to God truth. That was the very first time I’d ever called a woman that.
“Hang on.” Her eyes widened. “So, we’re dating now?”
“I don’t know what we’re doing.”
She pivoted toward me, placing her legs over mine and moving closer. The bottom of her black dress rode up, and I rested my palms on her bare thighs. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pressed her lips to mine.
I laid my hands on her shoulders, forcing us to break the kiss. “Lizzie.” I cupped her jaw in my hand, stroking her skin with my thumb. “I have no idea how this would ever work with us, but I know I don’t want you seeing anyone else. And I don’t want to see anyone else either. Eventually, a decision will have to be made.”
“I don’t want to hurt my parents.”
“Me either.” I exhaled, knowing my next words would more than likely come back to haunt me. I didn’t want to betray James. I cared about him and loved his family, but Elizabeth and I were adults. Whether it was me or some other older guy, she was going to have to make her own decisions. I could take care of her like no other man could and wanted to be the one who did just that. “At some point, you have to start making decisions that are best for you, not what your parents want. And I’m torn even telling you that. You know I never want the friendship I have with your dad to suffer.”
She chewed on her bottom lip for a second before pressing her lips to the corner of mine. “Am I worth that risk for you? What ifyou arethe decision that I make for myself?”
