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I march into her house, not announcing myself, not calling ahead. Something I never did.
“Hello?” she calls, knowing full well who it is because she has security cameras that alert her to people coming to the door.
“It’s me,” I call back and she beckons me to her office. Her home office is more immaculate than her office she used to have at the Leads Building. My office, now.
She hires the most sought-after interior designers in the city, and they deck her out in whites and golds, with a splash of black. Just like her soul.
Just kidding.
Kind of.
“Well, if it isn’t my long-lost daughter?” she says in a voice she used to use to tell me how disappointed in me she was. “What do I owe the pleasure of your exquisite company?”
Wow, she’s resorted to sarcasm. Yeah, she’s pissed. Luckily, so am I.
“I want to know what your problem is with Warren and me.”
“I don’t have a problem with Warren Blake. He’s a fine young man.” Her tone is taut, her expression lacking concern, but I know better.
“Really?” I drop my bag into her guest chair and toss my hands up. “Then what the hell, Mother?”
She arches a brow, giving me a look that used to make me back down immediately.
But I’m done with that. So. Fucking. Done. My ragey-ness was making me curse in my head.Thanks a lot, Mom!“Excuse me? Who do you think you’re talking to?”
“Look.” I take a deep breath, swallowing the urge to apologize. I’m thirty, God bless it. I don’t need to apologize to her. “Whatever it is that you are concocting with the Pierce family, drop it. I’m happy, for the first time in my life, I’mtrulyhappy.”
“Oh, well I’m so happy for you,” she spits, standing and coming around to face me. “I’m so happy you’ve found happiness.” Her face doesn’t change from the mask of cold that she’s slipped on, I stare at my mother, not knowing who she is anymore, and wonder when we got so far gone from the people we used to be. She’s always been controlling, but this… this was next level.
“Hold on to that happiness, Jane. Because it won’t last.” She shakes her head. “Warren will one day find someone, someday, that will be better than us. Better at taking care of kids, of having a family, of being a wife.”
I frown at her in confusion. “No, he won’t. I want all of those things.”
“Sure.” She shrugs and leans against the desk. “Sure, you do. Or you say so. Then one day, you’ll be so far gone, so busy with the company that that man who loves you, he’ll just…” She shrugs again, the move so unlike her. “Stop. Because you won’t have time for him anymore. You won’t be home in time for dinner, you won’t be around to give him the kids he wants. You won’t be enough.”
“Stop,” I whisper, tears gathering in my eyes. “Just… stop.”
Mom doesn’t reply anymore, just stands there, staring off to the side of the room, looking like she’s lost in a trance.
“Those things won’t happen.” I step in front of her and catch her gaze. “I won’t let those things happen because I love Warren. And if it came down to being with him, or losing my position, I would choose him.”
For a moment, she just stares at me. Then she nods. “Then you would be stronger than me.”
“What?” I shake my head, confused. “Did… did you love someone?” The idea, the concept is so foreign that my voice comes out incredulous.
She laughs, bitterly. “I did. Once.”
“What happened?” I keep my voice soft, tentative, as I unravel this new piece of my mother.
“I just told you.” She smiles slightly. “I didn’t give him enough of me. And he left, married someone else, had kids…” Shrugging, she says, “It’s over now.”
“Mom.”
“I’m done with this conversation.”
I clench my fists. “You’ll drop things with Jasper?” I don’t know why I push when she’s clearly put up a wall between us, but I have to know.
“I’ll consider it.” She sits back in her desk chair and goes back to her computer.
