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I’mstunnedspeechless.Aidenjust stormed out in the middle of a discussion. Okay, maybe a loud one, but still. To just leave like that after he made me promise to stay and fight, that he’d be there for me no matter what, is absolutely fucked up. I’m so angry I can barely see straight. How dare he?
My hands are curled into fists and my face is hot with fury. I want to rail. I want to smash something and watch it break into a million pieces. I want… I don’t know what exactly right now. Maybe to have my boyfriend not be such an incredible jackass, for starters.
What it all boils down to is fear. I’m scared to death that I’ll lose him while he’s in some other country where I can’t to get to him. The danger he seems so damn gung-ho to put himself in terrifies me. I get this is important. Truly, I do, but how can he not understand how desperately I need him to be safe and out of harm’s way? That’s been my singular focus since the kidnapping. I just need everyone I love to be safe and sound.
Wait. Love? It’s too soon to be thinking that word. I have to wonder if that’s what this feeling is, though. Maybe that’s what my mom was smiling about before I left this morning. Maybe she knew but didn’t want to say anything just yet. I don’t even want to admit it to myself right now. If I do, then the possibility of him not coming home takes on a whole new meaning. I can’t lose someone I love again. No, this is concern for his safety. His mother already lost one child. To lose another would be tragically unfair. Jesus, even I can’t convince myself that’s the only reason.
What I need to do right now is stop focusing on my fear. Anger is a much easier emotion to deal with. Maybe not healthier, but definitely easier.
My phone rings from where I dropped my purse when I jumped into Aiden’s arms just a few hours ago. I can’t believe it only took a few hours for everything to blow up in my face again.
“Hey, Mom told me you went home. Figured I would give you guys a little time to reconnect, shall we say?” Kasey snickers into the phone. I scoff at her assumption.
“Oh, we reconnected all right. Until he decided to be a jackass,” I grumble.
“Huh? What are you talking about?”
“Ask Donovan. Aiden is on his way over there right now to tell him about some insanely dangerous mission he’s going take time off work for.” Anger pours through my voice as I say the words.
“Dangerous mission? You know what? Never mind. I’m at lunch with Abigail right now. We’re coming over.”
“Bring wine.”
“Got it.”
She hangs up, and I throw my phone on the couch. Better yet, I grab it and toss it on my bed with the ringer off and shut the door. I don’t want to hear from anyone right now. Just get drunk with my sister and best friend.
When they show up, Abigail steps into the apartment like the whirlwind she is, carrying a large bag with several bottles of wine and a determined look.
“All right, love muffin, we’re here with supplies and a fuck-all-men attitude. What do you want to start with, red or white?” she asks as she holds up the bag.
Usually, her saying something like that would get a laugh from me, but I can’t find the humor in this situation.
“Red,” I tell her. I need something strong and bold to get rid of the bitter taste in my mouth. I go sit in the living room as she makes her way into the kitchen.
Abigail goes about grabbing glasses and opening bottles as Kasey comes to sit next to me, putting her arm around me.
“I’m sorry your homecoming isn’t working out as planned. If it makes you feel any better, Donovan said that Aiden looks pretty torn up about whatever’s going on with you two. He wasn’t even in a suit. When does that happen?”
When he’s home, safe with me, I think to myself. The only time I’d seen him in a suit lately was when he had a meeting, but it was quickly torn off in a rush of hormones and lust the second he walked back through the door.
Abigail waltzes into the living room and takes in the scene in front of her. “Nope. None of that, Kasey. We’re here to get drunk and make our girl feel better. We are not here for heart-to-hearts or any of that shit.”
Abigail hands me a glass of wine and I take a healthy swig. Or maybe I finish the glass because as soon as it’s away from my lips, Abigail is pouring more into it from the bottle in her hand.
“Thanks, Abs, but I don’t want to be half past wasted in a matter of two minutes.”
She quirks her brow and gives me a “try again” look.
“Give me at least ten.” That gets a smile from her as she drinks from the bottle and Kasey walks into the kitchen to get her own glass.
“Okay, start from the beginning,” Kasey instructs. We get comfortable on the couch as I tell them everything, starting from the phone call at 2:00 a.m. all the way to him walking out the door. I’m taking sips from my glass the entire time I tell the story, so that whole ten-minute thing is quickly becoming a reality.
“It’s not like I don’t understand his reasoning. Of course I do. I’m not a complete selfish cow, but come on. It’s not like there aren’t a million other people Liam could ask to do this with him. Why does Aiden feel some sort of moral obligation that has him convinced he’s the only one who could possibly be good enough?” I’m pacing the living room waving my wine glass as I ask them, still exasperated by the whole situation and now buzzed as well.
I can tell my sister doesn’t want to say anything bad about Aiden and the predicament we’re in right now. She knows how often he would come over to make sure we were okay after the kidnapping when she and Donovan weren’t even speaking. She has an obvious soft spot for the guy because he was there to rescue both of us from Helen, but I would appreciate some sisterly support on the “I’m so mad I could spit” train I’m conducting. Abigail is definitely right there with me.
“What an ass. I can’t believe he just left you standing here. Can’t he see how you would have a huge problem with this?” Abigail tells me as she refills my glass from the second bottle she’s already opened.
