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I make my way downstairs, a little nervous about what is going to happen next. I am not the type of girl to sleep with someone I barely know, much less go home with them and stay the night in their bed. As I reach the last step, the smell of bacon and coffee greets me.
“Good morning beautiful,” Holden croons. He is standing at the stove cooking breakfast for us, wearing gray sweatpants and nothing else. I can’t help it, a smile slips on my face and I try to hide, biting my lower lip.
“Good morning.” I walk into the open-concept kitchen and sit down at the long island, content to watch Holden work. Holden reaches for a large mug, sets it down before me, and pours me a mug of steaming coffee. “Hmmm, I love coffee. Thank you.”
“I remembered,” he smiles. “Do you need cream or sugar?”
“Yes to both. I never could stomach straight black coffee.” He opens the fridge and sets the items in front of me so that I can make my coffee the way I like. Once my coffee is perfect, I get up from the island and put the creamer back in the fridge, not wanting to get in his way.
As soon as I close the door to the fridge, Holden is there, right behind me. His hands grasp my hips as he turns me, my back flat against the cold steel of the refrigerator. His large hand cups my neck as he captures my mouth with his. All thought leaves my mind, my entire body focusing on the sensation of him claiming me. He moans into my mouth before breaking our kiss and returning to the stove.
I stand still, my brain trying to catch up as I watch Holden place eggs, bacon, and biscuits on plates and set them on the island. “Let’s eat.”
“It looks delicious,” I say as I take a seat next to him, our thighs touching. I’m more of a breakfast-on-the-go type of person, usually grabbing a protein bar as I rush out of the door to get to work. Breakfast food is typically reserved for special occasions, like a hardcore craving for pancakes.
“I should say I’m surprised that you can cook, but for some reason, it makes sense,” I mumble through a mouthful of eggs. Holden chuckles, a crooked smile stretching across his face, his blue/gray eyes glinting in amusement.
“I had to cook a lot for my brother and me growing up. Breakfast is Seth’s favorite, so I got pretty good at it. Don’t ask me to cook anything else though, my skills are strictly breakfast,” he teases, nudging my shoulder as we smile at one another. I can tell something is different behind his eyes when he talks about growing up, but I don’t press him for more information.
We chat while we eat, teasing each other, our conversation is easy and relaxed. When we are stuffed, we work together to clean the kitchen. I rinse the dishes while Holden loads the dishwasher and I marvel at how easy it is to be with him. Normally, I overthink everything. Am I saying the right thing? What is he thinking? But with Holden, I’m just Everly. Completely comfortable.
Once the kitchen is clean, I turn towards the wall of windows that make up the back wall of the apartment. The world is a frenzy of snow, the fluffy white flakes continuing to fall on the city. I love the snow and the peace it brings. It’s no longer falling in thick sheets, but the streets down below are covered with fresh, clean snow.
Holden’s deep voice breaks me from my trace. “The roads to your sister’s house are still closed. I don’t think we will be able to get out in this weather.” I turn around and watch him approach me, phone in hand and staring at the screen intensely. “Is there another way to her house?”
He stops beside me and holds his phone out to me. Does he want to get rid of me? Is he done with me? I take his phone and study the map on his screen. All the roads are closed due to the weather. I sigh, “No, there isn’t. But my sister is in the city with her boyfriend Kyle. I could see if she can come to get me,” I offer. I don’t want to leave, but I don’t want to stay when I’m not welcome.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffs. “You’ll stay here.” He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close, his mouth pressed against my ear. “I’m not done with you yet.
Chapter 8
Holden
I spent the day surrounded by Everly. I’ve never had a better day. I was relieved when the roads were closed due to the driving conditions. I don’t want to let her go, and I don’t. I worship her body all over the apartment: the kitchen island, the floor of the living room, against the windows in the dining room, wherever she will have me.
This woman brings me a sense of calm, peace, and longing. The kind I’ve been searching for my whole life. I acknowledge that my childhood has played a large role in my adulthood; my anxiety attacks are physical proof of that. With Everly’s presence, everything fades into the background. She is my calm. She is my peace.
Later in the evening, we find ourselves worn out. Everly is sprawled in only my shirt and her lace panties, lounging on the couch reading one of the books from the den upstairs while I work at the dining room table. One thing I enjoy about my work is that there is always something to do. Some fires need putting out; problems to be solved. The business keeps the crushing panic at bay, for the most part. It’s been several months since my last panic attack. Ryan was convinced it was a heart attack and called the ambulance.
The attack came on quickly, that tightness building in my chest, the walls closing in. That day was like any other, board meetings, teleconferences, and merger acquisitions. I had little warning of what was brewing in my body. I can normally push them aside and power through, but in this instance the all-encompassing chaos took hold. My breath coming too quickly and refusing to leave my lungs. The world stopping as I drown in panic, my brain shutting down and focusing on nothing but the overwhelming feeling taking hold.
The bubble we have created in my apartment is everything I need. I can’t stop staring at her as she reads. The image of her laying on my couch will be one that I will not forget. Her lush curves on display, her long legs resting across the back of the couch, gives me just a hint of those black lace panties that she put back on after we washed her clothes. I want to touch this woman forever.
I’ve brought women back to my apartment many times before, but I’ve never made breakfast for them, shared meaningful conversations with them, or wanted them to stick around for longer than the night. I find myself wishing that the roads remain closed, but the afternoon has warmed the air and the snow on the roads has already melted in the city. It’s only a matter of time before the roads are clear on the way to her sisters, and I will have to say goodbye to this woman who I have already found holds pieces of my heart in her hands. How the fuck did this happen?
Chapter 9
Everly
The next morning the roads are clear and I find myself upset by it. I don’t want to leave Holden. I want to stay with him, to be in his arms and his bed. But reality crashes down on me. He lives in New York. I live in Illinois. He is a millionaire, a CEO of a lucrative company, and I am a 3rd-grade teacher. Our lives don’t mesh at all.
The thirty-minute drive lasts almost an hour, with the traffic and the still slushy roads. Part of me thinks Holden doesn’t want to let me go just as much as I don’t want to leave. He holds my hand as he follows the directions the GPS indicates, his thumb grazing small circles on the back of my hand. The only sound in the car is the quietly playing radio and the occasional interruption of the electronic voice of the GPS. I want to speak to him, but I don’t know what I would say. ‘Hey, how about we keep this up? I want to stay with you. Screw work and responsibilities, I’ll come back to New York with you.’ It’s just a fantasy, one I know will never come true.
I watch out the window as familiar landscapes appear and the crunch of gravel grinds under the tires. Mel got home earlier in the day, and her car is parked in the driveway.
I called her yesterday during one of the brief breaks between Holden and me devouring each other. Kyle’s flight was delayed until early this morning when she dropped him off at the airport before making her way home. I had already told her that Holden would be bringing me back, and Mel wouldn’t stop teasing me about it. She also is dying to get a look at him. She thinks I am exaggerating his ridiculous good looks, but I’m not. I can’t wait to rub it in her face.
I sigh as Holden puts the car into park behind my modest sedan. Neither of us makes a move to exit the car. We just stare at each other, neither one wanting to break the spell between us. With another huff, I start to pull my hand from his, but Holden holds tight. Without saying a word, he lifts our hands to his mouth, planting a sweet kiss on the back of my hand, before letting me go.
