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His eyes roamed down her body, and he wondered what other Christmassy articles of clothing she was wearing under her sensible black suit and white shirt. Did she have on her candy cane socks? Or those panties with the reindeer, or the bra with Santa Claus on one cup and Mrs. Claus on the other? She liked to dress professionally when she was at work, but she could never resist having some item of Christmas clothing on.
Fin remembered the first time he’d seen her in all her crazy Christmas clothes. It was the first Christmas they’d spent together, and they’d been dating only a month or so. It had been a couple of days after Halloween—in his mind way too early to start thinking about Christmas. But it wasn't for Chloe. She’d been wearing red and white candy cane striped stockings, a bright red dress with a Santa village motif, a red cloak with fluffy white around the hood, and red mittens with white snowflakes. She’d looked ridiculous and sexy and impossibly sweet all mixed together.
He chuckled at the memory. She could be so goofy sometimes, and she just couldn’t help herself when it came to Christmas things, especially Christmas clothes. As soon as she’d told him she was pregnant, she’d started buying Christmas outfits for the baby.
Abruptly, he sobered.
Their baby was gone, and so was Chloe.
Their relationship was over.
Reminiscing about the past was only going to cause him more pain.
Fin straightened and moved away from the emergency room door. Whatever Chloe and Tom were doing here, he didn't care. Taylor’s parents had arrived an hour ago; she was no longer his concern, and neither was this case.
He had turned and headed back to the desk to collect another patient chart—his shift was over, but he wasn't ready to go home yet—when he heard Tom call his name. He really wanted to ignore them. To keep going, go back to work, make it through the holidays, then move on with his life.
He didnotwant Chloe and Tom to drag him into their case.
It was nothing to do with him.
Okay, so he’d stumbled upon Taylor as she staggered toward his house, but that was it. He didn't know anything. Talking to him was just wasting their time.
“Taylor is with her parents,” he told them when they approached.
“We know,” Tom said. “We wanted to talk toyou.”
“I don’t have anything to tell you.” Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? It was torture being around Chloe again. Especially around this time of year when memories of happier times kept barging their way into his mind.
“Can we go someplace more private?” Tom asked.
Fin sighed. May as well get this over with. “We can go in here.” He led them to a small office next to the staff lounge and sank tiredly down into a chair.
He had taken the chair closest to the door, and as Chloe walked past him, he caught a whiff of her perfume.
They said smell was the sense with the strongest connection to memory, and true to this, memories of Chloe began to flash through his mind.
The way she nibbled on her toast every morning withimpossibly small bites so that it took her ten minutes to eat a slice. The way she was always cold and liked to sit on his lap in winter when they hung out on the couch and binge watched their favorite shows before bed. The way she giggled in her sleep, her face lighting up in the most breathtaking smile. The way her bottom lip wobbled when she was trying not to cry. The way her eyes crinkled at the sides when she frowned at him, making her look so sweet, it was hard to continue the argument. The way she laughed every time he tried to give her a massage to get her in the mood because her stomach and back were so ticklish.
There weresomany things he loved about her that when he thought of them all, it was hard to remember why he was angry with her.
“Fin.”
He’d been so lost in thought, he hadn’t bothered to listen to whatever they were saying. He had to get it together. So, he still loved Chloe; he knew that already.
Sometimes love wasn't enough.
And he was tired of rehashing his feelings for her in his mind. He was tired of justifying to himself why he was angry with her. He was tired of hurting and grieving not just the loss of their child, but of the loss of their relationship, as well.
It was time to answer their questions, send them on their way, and be done with it.
“Yeah?”
“How’s Taylor?” Tom asked.
Fin saw Chloe’s flinch because he was looking for it.
There was no doubt about it, she was jealous of his relationship with Taylor. Which was ridiculous because he didn'thavea relationship with Taylor.
