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“What if you didn’t ignore them? What if you breathed them in? What if you gave into them?”Fuck, what am I doing?I can’t hurt her or make her afraid again.
“Yeah, that’s not really me,” she replied quickly, her voice low and soft.
“Why? What happened to you, Em?”
“I was stupid. Asking for trouble, I got what I deserved. That’s all there is to tell.” I could hear the shame hanging off every word as she spoke.
“Bullshit. Stop making excuses for other people. No onedeservessomething bad happening to them. Talk to me.” I tried not to come across as angry and hurt her feelings, but I also hated how she seemed to blame herself for whatever had happened to her.
“I was at a party. Someone did something to me that I didn’t want. I should have known better.”
“Whose party?”
“In my apartment. My housemates were having it. They didn’t even tell me. I got up to ask them to turn the music down.” Her brows furrowed and tears pooled in her eyes.
I stared at her, waiting for more. She didn’t say another word, as if that was enough of an explanation.
“And? Emmy?” My tone demanded an answer because it was killing me to think of someone hurting her and I needed to find out what had happened.
She sighed loudly, stepping closer to me and pressing her face into my neck, surprising me with her sudden move. “I can’t look at you while I tell you. I don’t want to see the pity or theyou deserved itlook in your eyes. Placing my hands on her hips, I pulled her closer, the water lapping around us. She shivered, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or the memory she was reliving.
“Is it okay that I hold you like this?” I asked, desperate to know I wasn’t making this worse for her.
“Yes,” she mumbled, her face still buried in my neck. She spoke, her voice so quiet, that I had to fight to hear what she was telling me.
“I was in bed. It was late. The music was loud, and I had a deadline the next day. I got up to ask them to turn it down. I was wearing tiny sleep shorts and a tight tank top. I shouldn’t have gotten up. Shouldn’t have left my room in what I was wearing. I should have covered up. I was asking for it. I deserved what happened. I mean, what was I thinking?” She paused, taking a deep breath.
“And what happened, Em?” I asked, my voice so distorted with the rage I felt that I didn’t even recognize the sound as it came out.
She pressed her face harder against my shoulder, her warm breath brushing over my clavicle as she spoke again. “He forced me against a wall. I told him no. I was crying. We were surrounded by people, and no one came to help. He forced his fingers inside me, told me I was asking for it, that I deserved it. He tried to do more, but when he moved his hands, I kicked him in the balls, and I ran. I ran into Quinn, who saved me. It’s why I love her so much.”
I had no idea what to say.How do I make that better?I didn’t want to say something that belittled what she’d been through, but I was also so angry I wanted to rip every man apart just to prove to her that she was safe.
“I know. I deserved it. What I was wearing meant I was asking for it. It’s why I wear what I wear, but then that man attacked me outside and you kissed me. Now I feel like I’m giving something off into the world that makes people think I’m there for the taking.”
“Shit. Stop, angel, please.” I slid my fingers beneath her chin and lifted her face from my shoulder, pressing my forehead against hers. “It didn’t matter if you wore a potato sack or a thong, that dick would have reacted in the same way. You're doing nothing wrong. It’s the dickheads around you… me included. I saw you as a solution to my feelings, but you’re not doing anything to cause those feelings. The things men have done to you or tried to do to you are all on them. Hiding yourself won’t stop the idiots. You’re special and people can see that. But you don’t have to put up with it and your knee is a perfect way to keep protecting yourself. That man sexually assaulted you. No wonder you’re nervous and afraid. No wonder you ran when I kissed you. Can I make you a promise?”
I pulled back slightly and looked her straight in her eyes, so she knew how much I meant what I was about to say. “I won’t ever let anything bad happen to you, Emmy. You’re worth protecting and I will do everything in my power to make sure no one ever hurts you ever again, angel. Do you hear me?”
She nodded silently as a single tear spilled down her cheek.
And I meant every word. I would protect her because she was important to the band, but my heart and my head already knew it was more than that, even if I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself.
Chapter 12
Emmy
Pushingmebackagainstthe wall of the pool, he gripped my throat. My breath hitched, and I struggled to force the air into my lungs. With his other hand, he freed his cock, and I groaned audibly when I saw his thick length bobbing between his thighs. I watched as he fisted himself and I couldn’t help but lick my lips as I took him in.
“Wrap your legs around me, angel.”
I did as he asked, feeling him press against me as he skimmed his engorged head over the outside of my swimsuit, my soft folds burning from the heat of him. Leaning down, his mouth sought out mine, consuming me. It was all too much. The throbbing between my legs, the lack of oxygen from his kiss, and the grip he still had around my neck. I pulled away, panting.
“Touch me, Tanner, please,” I begged breathlessly, grinding against him, trying to get some friction to ease the need pulsing between my thighs.
“All in good time, angel. I want to make sure you’re ready for this. For me.”
I dragged his fingers to my entrance, moaning out his name.
