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“You.”
He stared at me, and I struggled to swallow, let alone breathe. Tension hung heavy between us and I forgot we were in a bar, with Rob, Matt, and the barman probably watching us. In that moment, I didn’t care about anything else except the man in front of me and what he'd just admitted.
Could he really have feelings for me? Could he really feel the same way about me that I realized I was feeling about him? How could this world-famous star have feelings for me? Invisible me.
“Me?” I repeated, just to make sure I’d heard him right.
“My head is all over the place, Em. I want to have this conversation, but I don’t think I’m in the right place to explain it to you. Can we just pause it there, but can you keep your promise? I’m so close to breaking, to drinking, to giving up that I don’t know how to stay sober and clean. I have an appointment with Levi tomorrow at 11 am. Can you stay with me until then? Please don’t leave me on my own. You are the only one that seems to be able to get through to me. Stay with me and work your witchy magic on me. I’m happy to beg if you need me to.”
And how could I resist those words?I took hold of his other hand, entwining my fingers with his. Pulling him from his seat, I led him to the elevator, glaring back at the barman who poured this known addict a drink and at Rob, who simply stood by and watched him nearly crack and give in to his addictions.
“Tanner, just so I’m prepared for future meltdowns, is this you in full self-destruct, or is there worse to come?”
“Oh, angel, if I was self-destructing, then I’d be balls deep in that bottle of whiskey. It could be a whole lot worse. I stayed on this side of sober because I didn’t want to disappoint you.”
This man and his words will be my undoing.“I’m sure Levi will have a field day with that sentence. But for now, we’ll go with it. If you want my help, you do not leave my side for the rest of the night. Do you hear me?”
“I hear you.”
We made our way back to his suite, and I pulled some bottles of water from the fridge, handing him one.
“Tan, I need to ask you a question. Is the tour a good idea? I mean, is this all too much? Your sobriety is the most important thing to everyone who loves you and you seem to be seriously struggling.”
He shook his head.
“I’m fine. It’s all about my mum. If I can sort her, then I’ll be fine.”
“But what if you can’t? You’re just finding different reasons to blame if you slip. Me, your mum. What’s next, album sales, the weather? You need to do it for you, Tanner.”
“You sound like Levi.”
“I’m obviously wiser than I realized.”
Tanner laid down on his bed, leaning back against the pillows. “Can I curl up with you?”
“Hell no. I’m not having you think my lips are a solution to your crappy mood again,” I said, backing away from the bed to the other side of the room.
“I just want you to come lay down with me. My body’s on edge. I’m so close to breaking, Em. I’m scared. Nothing else, I promise.”
“But you just accused me of making you my project. I don’t want to make you feel like that.”
“I’m a dick. Please.”
His honesty tore down my walls, making me want to lie down next to him, but luckily, my head was well and truly doing its job of keeping me safe. “I’m not wearing much. I don’t feel comfortable, Tan.” I pointed down to the hotel gown I wore over my short pajamas.
“T-shirts, shirts, shorts, hoodies, they’re all in the closet. Take what you need to feel comfortable. Put them on and come lay with me. Please, Em.”
God, what am I doing even thinking about getting into bed with this man? What if he kisses me again?
It was then I realized that him kissing me again wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
I walked over to the wardrobe and found a t-shirt and a hoodie, taking them to the bathroom so I could get changed and try to hide the blush on my face from thinking about his lips on mine. I ditched the robe and pulled them on, leaving my sleep shorts on, but nerves hit me. I’d worn shorts like this that night. I’d been able to wear them when I was alone, but around other people, I felt like a slut.
“Em. You alright in there?”
“No.”
“Come and talk to me. Please.”
