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“You have a whole life and career to talk about. We don’t need to talk about her until you’re ready.”
The mention ofhermade my skin crawl and my head pound, and I knew I needed space before I said or did something I’d regret. “I know, Em. Honestly, I just need some sleep.” I turned to face her, keeping my eyes dipped so she wouldn’t see the thoughts and emotions whirling around my head right now. I wrapped my fingers through hers, looking down at the contrast of her soft, unblemished skin against my tattooed, calloused hand. Pressing a light kiss to her temple, I paused a moment to let the warmth of her soak into me. “Night, angel.”
I woke later, with no idea of what time it was or how long I’d been asleep, an arm laid heavily across me, a body spooning me from behind, and warm breath on my neck. I twisted my head to find Emmy there, pressed against me, wearing my t-shirt. Lips slightly parted, her deep breaths gave away how deeply asleep she was. Her long hair fanned out across the pillow, eyelashes fluttering as she dreamed. I sighed, sinking into the feeling that having her this close created in me before I closed my eyes, allowing myself to fall back to sleep.
When I woke again, she was gone; the bed next to me empty. I wondered if I dreamed the whole thing and she was never really there, wrapped around me. It was only when I looked over at the end table and saw a note that I knew for sure she’d been here last night.
You snore, and why do you get so hot in your sleep? Thank you for being the little spoon. I feel even more powerful because I got to spoon a Cosmic God. Can you bring your smile today? I missed seeing it on your grumpy face last night. And when you’re ready, you can tell me why your session with Levi ended early (because I know he wouldn’t have cut it short!!) Emmy x
I ran my fingers through my hair and groaned. It was impossible to get anything past this woman, but there was no way I was telling her about my conversation with Levi because she’d agree with him and I needed her too much to let her step away from me.
Pulling on my gray sweatpants, I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my exhausted face before heading down to the communal area of the bus. I smelled the bacon before I got there, and I was met with a spectacular sight. Frankie and the twins were all dressed in their sleepwear and Emmy in yoga pants and an oversized sweatshirt. She was singing badly into a hairbrush, while Frankie drummed on the table and the twins played their guitars as they all sang outMr. Brightsideby the Killers. Emmy was so out of tune, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, but the look of happiness on her face made me forgive her for making my ears bleed as she belted out the words.
They were all so caught up in the moment that no one noticed me there, and it was beautiful to witness how relaxed she was around my brothers and sister. I still couldn’t believe how easily she fit into our fucked up lives and what a difference she’d made to how we all felt individually and the relationships we had with each other. It was like we didn’t function until she showed up and I found myself wondering what would have happened to us all if she hadn’t taken this job.
I watched them all, unable to ignore the sting of jealousy from them all having fun without me, but I pushed it down with all the other emotions I didn’t want to face. Emmy belted out the final note, and I started to slow clap as she took a bow. A blush spread up her chest and neck, realizing that I’d been watching for a while.
“What do you think, rock star? You got a place in the band for another singer? Or are you worried I would steal all the limelight with my most excellent singing?”
“It’s certainly a unique sound, Em. Did you take lessons, or is it a natural talent?” I replied with a smile, as she sat down at the table and the boys took off their guitars.
“All natural. I think I missed my calling.”
“No, no, you definitely didn’t. Stick to writing. The world isn’t ready for your singing just yet.”
Throwing her head back as she laughed, I couldn’t help but think about how her skin tasted under my lips and my cock throbbed as I remembered her in the shower, screaming out my name. As I stared at her, those memories were instantly erased as Gray draped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and placing a kiss on her temple.
“Don’t listen to him, Emmy. He’s just jealous that we might replace his talentless ass with yours. Yours is much better to look at, anyway.”
She giggled and shoved him with her shoulder, but he didn’t loosen his hold on her. Now I was jealous, not of being left out of the fun, but of the way Gray seemed to be staking his claim to her.
“Coffee?” I growled, trying desperately to change the subject so Gray might remove his fucking arm from around her.
Everyone wanted one, so I pulled mugs from the cupboard and set the coffee machine to work its magic. Placing the steaming drinks in front of them, I sat on the bench that ran the length of the table.
I watched as she took a sip of her coffee, her eyes fluttering closed as she sighed. When she opened them again, there was a glint dancing in them and I sensed one of her witchy questions was about to follow. She paused and smiled at me with a wink that made my balls throb with excitement. I shook my head, trying to fend off the erection that threatened to tent my sweatpants.
“Why the nameCosmic Gods?” she asked, taking another sip of her coffee.
“Mum,” Maverick replied instantly.
“Lori? Why?”
“Mum loves all that woo-woo shit. Growing up, we had a house full of crystals. Every new moon and full moon, she’d have all these rituals. Writing letters to the universe, setting them on fire, leaving water out to charge with the moon energy. She’s a massive fan of manifesting and the law of attraction. When we started the band, we all wanted to keep her on our side. I mean, we were playing in her garage. She was providing us with snacks, feeding us all when we finished practice, and making dad drive us around to all our gigs. One day at dinner, she made a comment about how we were going to go cosmic and that we would be the new gods of rock. Cosmic Gods came from that. She and our dad gave us everything. They even gave us Tanner. Brought him into our family without a moment of hesitation. The name was from her and for her.”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I’d forgotten about that conversation. Her faith in us was unwavering, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever thanked her properly for what she did for me. In fact, I wasn’t sure we’d ever thanked her for what they did for all of us. Their belief in us created the Cosmic Gods and kept us focused on our dreams. Even now, we were always their priority. Even me.
“We became the Cosmic Gods when the boys were fifteen. Then I guessed we all fell into our respective roles.” Frankie’s voice replaced Maverick’s as they shared their history. “Tanner, obviously the lead singer and all-round sex god. Mav, the cheeky pantie soaking god, Gray the soulful sensitive god, and then me, the drummer.”
“I thought we’d dealt with this, sis. You’re more than justthe drummer. You’re the sun we all orbit. You keep us all on the right path. You must realize that by now, right? We’ve been trying to make you see how important you are to the band… to us… since we spoke on the way to Paris. I know it might take time, but tell me you’re starting to see it.” Gray let his arm fall from Emmy’s shoulder as he reached over to grab Frankie’s hand to reassure her.
Frankie shrugged. “I guess. I’ve felt this way since I was a kid. I know you never meant it, but I always felt on the outside. I mean, you two have your twin connection and then you have the boys’ club with Tanner. I’m just me. On the outside. I’ve never felt like any sort of god.”
“Hey, look, I have to share a face with this asshole, and Tanner is like a bad smell that kept coming back. Only joking, bro,” he said with a wink. “But you, you bring the glamor to the band. And you stop us from being cosmic dicks. Well, Mav and I. Tanner was a lost cause for a while.” He winked at me again, as if he wasn’t sure if the new sober me could take a joke. “We wouldn’t want to do this without you. What can we do to help you understand how important you are to us, sis?”
“I don’t know, but can I show you something that might make you see things from my side?”
We all nodded, and she reached behind her into her bag, pulling out a book, flicking through it until she found what she was looking for. Placing the open pages in front of us, we huddled over it to see what was inside. When I read it, my heart fell through the floor and I saw the same reactions on my brothers’ faces as well.
