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“Because I know me. I’m the joker in the group, but I have little to contribute. No one asks for my opinions or my advice. If I’m not joking about people, they think there’s something wrong with me, so it’s easier to stay the joker. What more is there to say?”
“Everything, Mav. What do you want to say? What would you say if you thought people would listen? What makes you happy, sad, angry, or excited? What can I tell your readers that will help them understand who you are?”
“Is it bad to say I don’t know?” he replied, his eyes fixed on the horizon as we spoke. “That it’s easier to let my twin answer for me than to work out what I want for myself? I’m scared to rock the boat and step out of my clearly defined role in the band. It’s easier to let people believe what they want to believe about me. You wouldn’t believe how wrong they get it sometimes. I guess I feel like Frankie. A bit invisible.”
“Are you joking?. You shine so brightly, Mav. You’re blinding. I’m so sorry you don’t feel like that, but yes, let’s take some time over the next few weeks to help you unpick what you like and what makes you tick.”
He stood up then and lifted me from the sand, pulling me onto his back. “Deal, but for now, let’s go play in the sea.” He galloped off like a horse, while I howled with laughter, hanging on to him as he ran into the waves.
“You seem tense, Tanner. Are you okay?” His energy was palpable throughout the room.
“A session with Levi. It was hard work, plus jet lag and not seeing you all day. It’s a lot. What did you do?” he asked, hugging me to his chest.
“I went to the beach with Mav. I had some questions for the book, so we went and talked and then swam in the sea. It was so warm.”
“You went without me?” He stepped back from me, so my arms fell from his body.
“Yes, Tanner, because every moment of my life can’t revolve around you,” I fired back, furious at his attitude. “ I took plenty of security.”
“Good, but I wanted to be the first to take you there. Couldn’t you have waited?” He sulked, sounding like a petulant child.
“No, I couldn’t. What’s going on with you?” I frowned, unsure where any of this was coming from.
“Nothing. I’m going to take a shower.”
“Fine, I need to do some work, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I guess you will, if I’m one of the lucky ones you deem worthy of your time, angel.” As soon as the endearment left his lips, he stormed from the room, slamming the door behind him.
Chapter 26
Emmy
“Emmy?”Iheardhimscreaming my name before he hammered on my door. “Emmy, get up and get out here now!”
“What the hell?” I mumbled as I rolled out of bed and wrapped the hotel robe around me.
Stepping out into the communal area of the hotel suite, there was Tanner. Eyes dark, his pupils blown, hiding his jade irises completely. His hair was messy, as he continued to push his hands through it, while he paced, his bare feet striding backward and forward.
“Rock star?”
“Don’t, Emmy. Just don’t. What the fuck are you playing at? I saw you with Gray and I knew. I knew you were up to something. The way you touched him wasn’t just one friend comforting another. You wanted more and now this.” He threw the paper onto the dining table, showing a photo of me on Mav’s back yesterday, playing around in the sea.
“What the fuck is this? You and my other brotherinnocentlymessing about in the waves?”
“That’s exactly what it was. I told you we’d been to the beach. I don’t get what the problem is, Tan.” I reached out for him, but he recoiled.
“The problem is you!” he screamed, towering over me as if he was trying to intimidate me. “You were so shy when I met you, afraid, covered up, invisible to the world. I’m starting to wonder if the whole ‘I was attacked’ story was just that. A story. Something to make us trust you while you tore us apart and fucked with us all. What a good book that would make, right, Emmy? I mean, you’ve seen what a tell-all story did for your dad’s career, so maybe you hoped it would do the same for yours as well.”
“Tanner, what the hell are you doing?” Frankie begged, pulling him, trying to make him look at her and break the tirade he was trapped in.
I gulped hard, shocked at his words and the way his venom flowed off his tongue so easily. “I mean, you talked about feeling like a slut. Like you were asking for it, but everything you’ve done recently shows me how much of that’s probably true. I find you alone on the bed with Gray, at the beach with Mav. A private beach. A beach you shouldn’t even be able to get a camera near, so how did they take these?” he cried, lifting the paper, thrusting it in my face. “What if, after all this time, you were the mole? Have you met my mum, Emmy? Are you telling her my secrets? Everything you’ve told me has been a fucking lie. Look, I can prove it.” He took a step closer so I could feel his ragged breath on my cheek. Grabbing me, he yanked open my robe, exposing me to the security, Rylee, Addi, Frankie, and Gray who’d all walked into the room.
I cried out, prying his hand from where he fisted my gown, but he wouldn’t let go, pulling harder so the tie came undone completely, showing off my sleepwear to the world. Tears streamed down my face as that familiar feeling of humiliation rushed my body, making it hard to breathe.
He spoke his next words slowly, as if punctuating his anger with his pauses. “No shy, nervous girl would wear what you’re wearing. You’re not the person I thought you were, Emmy. Youarea slut. You lied to me. You tried to manipulate my family, and you leaked stories to the press. I want you gone. You’re sacked. Get the fuck out of here.”
I heard Frankie or Addi sob loudly and Gray yelling at Tanner. Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion. Tanner was still screaming at me, but I couldn’t listen to a word of it. All I could hear was my heart breaking into a million pieces and the confidence they’d helped me build up over the last few months crumbling to dust. I pulled my robe back around me, holding it close against my body and stepping back so he couldn’t touch me again.
