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After a few minutes, he released me and smiled before tugging the hem of my t-shirt over my head and then stripping off his own clothes, leaving him standing naked in front of me. The wide head and thick shaft of his semi-hard cock making me lick my lips as I remembered all the times he’d stretched me wide and fucked me hard with it since I’d been here with them. He ran his hand down my torso until his fingers reached the waistband of my jeans and he slowly undid my button and zip.
“Take them off,” he commanded, the dominant tone clear in his voice, making my skin tingle with the anticipation of what he was going to do to me.
I stepped out of them and waited for his next instruction because I knew him well enough by now to know it was coming.
“Hands against the wall, Gray. I want to give you everything you’ve been searching for. I want to show you there are other ways to deal with all those feelings. Ways where you’re not denying yourself all the good things in life. Trust me. Let me take it all away.”
I pressed my hands against the cool wall. “Fuck, please,” I begged, not sure what I was asking for, but desperate to find a better way to deal with my messed-up mind. Pressing himself against me, he massaged my cheeks, pushing his cock between them, edging against my hole. “Punishment has its place, Gray, but it should always, always be followed by pleasure. I’m going to punish you and then I want to turn a way you’ve used to punish yourself into something pleasurable. I don’t want you to overthink, I just want you to trust me to take care of you. Is that okay?”
I was so turned on by his voice and his body pressed against mine that I could only nod.
“I want you to give me a safe word. You have a lot bottled up in that head of yours. You might feel overwhelmed. If you say your safe word, then I will stop immediately. Give me a word.”
I should have been worried, I should have questioned what he was going to do, but I didn’t. I’d meant what I said. I trusted Ethan with my life, and I wanted him to help me. I was willing to hand him my body, my heart, and my soul and do what he needed to help me feel enough.Fuck, I’d give anything to just feel enough.
“Blue.”
“Blue it is. Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you been in the band?”
“Ten years.”
“Okay, I’m going to start by striking you ten times. One slap for every year you’ve been punishing yourself. Denying yourself happiness. Understand?”
I swallowed hard, not knowing how I felt about his plan, but also so turned on at the thought of him dominating me that it was almost too much. Before I could overthink it or talk myself out of it, I replied. “Yes.”
He wrapped his hand over my hip to keep me in place and spanked my ass. The first hit caused a light sting that made my skin tingle, my hard cock bouncing off my abs.
The second and third ones were harder, directly over where he’d hit me first, heat flaring to the surface.
The fourth and fifth ones hit my thighs, making them tremble as sweat dripped from my forehead. Ethan paused, rubbing my ass cheeks hard, easing the sting and calming my body. But then, when the sixth one landed unexpectedly after his gentle touch, it made me cry out. The pain forced the blood to my cock, adding to the intensity I was feeling in every nerve in my body.
The seventh one was the hardest and sent my body jolting forward towards the wall, but Ethan held me firmly in place, reminding me that he was in control and all I needed to do was take what he was giving me.
The last three were fast and sharp, making me cry out again. I should have hated having a man touch me like this, but I couldn’t think. My usually whirling mind was calm and silent and rather than trying to work out why I simply basked in it.
Ethan whispered, reassuring me, and telling me how pleased he was with me. His praise was everything I didn’t know I needed, and my heart swelled with his words. He pulled me upright, rubbing his hard cock over my burning cheeks, sending another wave of painful pleasure through my body, which gave me more silence. More space to breathe.
He moved my body, and I didn’t try to question what was happening as he guided me to the bathroom. He turned on the shower, steering me inside. As the warm water fell over my skin, I felt the sting on my sore ass. I hissed, but Ethan’s lips silenced it.
It was a soft, gentle kiss as he pressed his hands over my ass, rubbing and soothing me. I groaned as I basked in the contradiction between the pleasure and the pain battling in my body, which brought even more silence to my usually overstimulated mind.
“Remember your safe word if it’s too much. I’ve got you,” he whispered, before turning me around, placing my hands against the tiled shower wall in the stance I’d been in when he’d spanked me. I waited to feel the burn of him striking me again, but instead, I felt his hands in my hair, rubbing and raking his fingers over my scalp. It was only when the smell of the shampoo hit me that I realized he was washing my hair.
He carefully rinsed away the suds before covering my body with soap. He washed every inch of my skin painfully slowly. My cock twitched and ached in anticipation of him touching me there. All the while, his lips whispered more praise and compliments. And my thoughts, compulsions, self-hatred… they all stayed silent and dormant while a sense of calm descended over me, like the warm sun on a cold winter's day.
Finally, he placed his hands on my hips, spinning me around to face him. He reached down, wrapping his hand around my engorged cock, my whole body on fire with the need for a release.
Ethan dropped to his knees, the warm water of the shower bouncing off us both, but I’d not thought about being in the shower once. I had no idea how long I’d been in there and didn’t feel the usual need to wash away my sins. My head was silent, and his words were the only thing that mattered. Looking up at me with his beautiful blue eyes, he spoke. “You are a God, Gray. Whether you believe the world sees you as one or not, Ivy and I see the greatness in you. You draw us towards you like you have your own gravitational pull. I would spend my life on my knees for you, giving you everything you need to realize your worth.”
His words slammed into me like an emotional hammer, he wrapped his lips around my cock, running his tongue along my shaft and sucking hard but it was all too much, and I exploded in his mouth, throwing my head back and crying out, as the compulsive thoughts that had settled during all this disintegrated into a million pieces, vanishing completely. I didn’t realize I was sobbing until his lips covered the tears on my cheeks and he wrapped his arms around me again.
“It’s okay, let it go. Leave it all here. I’ve got you, Gray. I’ve got you and I’m not letting go.”
At some point, he must have led me from the shower and dried me off because I found myself in his bed… our bed… warm and cocooned in thick blankets and soft pillows. He stroked my face before standing to leave.
