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Loosening the sheets that covered me, Matt placed a pillow between my knees and then helped me roll onto my side. I was grateful for his gentle touch and the way the pillow stopped my body from moving too much. Unfastening the ties on the back of my gown, he lifted the thin material from my skin.
Running his hands from my hips up my back to my shoulders, he started to rub, massaging me until I groaned.
“Does it hurt?” he whispered.
“Yes, but not you touching me. That feels… I’ve missed your hands on me.”
He continues to gently need my tight muscles until I felt myself relax under his touch.
“I thought I’d lost you. Seeing you there, I thought you were gone. I should have protected you, Rogue?” he mumbled as if he was talking to himself, rather than saying it to me.
Twisting my head, I looked back at him over my shoulder, staring up at his exhausted, disheveled, beautiful face. Matt hid his emotions so well when he was working, but right now I could see every thought, fear, and feeling he was having written across his face as if they had been etched there in flashing neon.
“I don’t remember what happened, Matt, but I know you and I know you’d have kept me safe if you could have. Whatever brought me here wasn’t on you. I’m sure about that.”
“You have a lot of faith in me.”
“You’re good at your job.”
His hands stilled, and I heard the sigh he expelled, but the click of my morphine pump seemed to pull him back to the moment. He moved his hands down my back, skimming my side, until his palms found my lower back, circling his thumbs rhythmically like he’d done so many times before. As the drugs stole my pain, his touch took my fear and anxiety and I slipped, gratefully, into a dreamless sleep. Anchored to the man I loved, but could never have.
Matt
“Tanner,you’reoutofbed. How are you feeling?” I asked as he appeared in Frankie’s doorway, looking more like himself than he’d done in days.
“I’ll be better when I see for myself that my little sister’s okay. I still can’t believe she stood up for me the way she did. She took a bullet for me.” The emotion in Tanner’s voice was clear to hear as he stared down at a sleeping Frankie.
“She loves you, Tanner. They all do. You need to remember that next time you feel like pressing the self destruct button.”
“This one wasn’t on me, but I won’t be touching a drink or a drug again. I think I’ve nearly died enough times now, don’t you? I won’t be trying it again.” Tanner closed the space between him and Frankie, tucking her hair behind her ear. “How is she? Really?”
“In pain. She doesn’t remember much. She’s having nightmares and I don’t know how to make it better.”
He looked over at me, to where I stood on the other side of the bed. “Matt, you’re already making it better just by being here, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.
“Tan?” Frankie cried out his name, trying to push herself up to sitting.
“Hey, sis, you’re awake,” Tanner beamed at her as he and I moved to help her get more comfortable.
“And you’re alive.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he looked at me and we waited to see if she remembered.
“Because Rylee had a gun. She said all those things. She told you she was your sister, and your mum made her live in the gutter while you lived in the stars.” Frankie’s eyes darkened in anger as she remembered more. “She told you that you had to drink, that she’d given them all an extra kick. You had to choose to drink, or she’d kill us all. You choose the spiked drinks. Tanner, are you still sober?” Her eyes widened as she waited for his answer.
Tanner kissed her on the top of the head. “Frankie, I drank them to protect you all, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m just sorry you ended up in here.
“That’s not what I asked, Tan.”
“I’m okay. I promise. And I won’t touch another drink or drug again for as long as I live.”
Frankie gasped. “She shot me. The bitch shot me. Is that what happened to me?” Frankie’s eyes widened as her gaze flicked between Tanner and me, waiting for us to confirm that her memories were right. Tanner perched on the side of the bed, careful not to hurt her, and took her hand in his.
“You stepped in front of me to protect me, Frankie. You offered her your life to protect mine. We could have lost you.”
“But you didn’t and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. The crazy bitch was trying to kill you. Where is she?”
Tanner paused. “Dead. She killed herself in front of Emmy.”
