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She’d looked at him and she’d pitied him. Felt sorry for him. Wouldn’t allow him to accept his guilt.
And she...
She thought that he was a prisoner.
But no. She was.
I love you.
How could she love him? Not only did she not truly know who he was, not only did she not truly know the perils of his character... But...
You have failed again. You have failed in a way you haven’t seen. For it was not just Riyaz... It was her.
He had taken away her freedom.
She had begged him not to make her prisoner, and he had done so anyway. And he had told himself that allowing her access to a computer made her free?
And now she said she loved him. What insanity was this? Would he ever not be a monster? Would anything about him ever be right?
There, deep in the desert with nothing around him, he let out a primal growl that seemed to vibrate the earth around him.
It was grief, and it was regret. For all the damage he had caused. For all that he could not put back together.
Except you can. You can set her free.
Because whose atonement had she ever been? Certainly not the country’s. And not Riyaz’s. He had wanted her, and he had brought her back here.
At first, it had been to prove himself to his brother, a salve for his guilt. And a way to punish himself.
But then... Then it had been about having her. Possessing her. Regardless of what she wanted.
And he might be a monster beyond redemption.
For he had proven his own selfishness at every turn. He would never be able to restore the sixteen years of Riyaz’s life that had been lost. He could not bring his parents back from the dead.
He could not allow himself to love Ariel.
Or rather...
He did love her. But he needed her to not be near him. And if he really wanted to do the right thing, he needed to allow her freedom.
He had to send her away.
He rode, far and hard away from the palace, and by the time he returned, the sun was rising. He had not slept.
He didn’t need to.
He was resolved.
He dismounted the horse, and a servant came to relieve him of the animal.
Then he pushed open the double doors to the palace and began to walk toward his and Ariel’s apartment.
He opened the door, and then saw her there, sitting on the couch, in a robe. Looking as if she had sat there all night.
“Get dressed,” he said.
She looked up at him, her eyes red.
