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The last timeI had a movie marathon was with Julia after Logan broke my heart. We spent an entire Saturday watching early 2000 screw-you-ex-boyfriend movies, fromLegally BlondetoJohn Tucker Must Die. Little did I know they were more like screw-your-best-friend’s-ex-boyfriend motivation movies.
Freshly showered, Devin and I curl up on opposite sides of my bed in the main bedroom. The faster the white cheddar popcorn, peanut butter M&M’s, and Twizzlers diminish, so do the inches between us. We’ve blown through two movies and rolled through the opening credits of a third when his hand finds my thigh. And not just above the knee thigh. Right at the hem of my knit running shorts thigh. It’s not even his palm’s contact on my bare skin as much as the stroke of his thumb. Back and forth. Back and forth. Every nerve ending lights on fire, stoking the rapid beats of my heart. All my body wants to do is shift and clench, but after his determination to keep his distance the other night, I refuse to show him how much he affects me.
Instead, I ease down the bed and curl onto my side, leaning into him. Two can play this game. With my head on Devin’s shoulder, I reach over and run my fingertips up and down his forearm, and his fingers tense, gently squeezing my upper thigh. Jokes on me because it does nothing but tease us both, yet I can’t bring myself to stop. Everything about being close to Devin brings a semblance of comfort, something I never felt with Logan. Sure, I had butterflies and typical hormones with him, but never a sense of rightness.
I don’t dare turn my head to face him, fear of rejection too deep if he doesn’t meet my lips in a kiss I crave. That’s a move he’ll have to make all on his own. For a guy determined to keep me at arm’s length, he sure has a confusing way of showing it.
His hand wanders, stroking with an unhurried but deliberate touch. My lungs function double-time, breathing shallow. As much as I wish I could, I can’t control the goosebumps from spreading. There’s no way he doesn’t notice as his fingers brush over them. And for some illogical reason, I turn my head. Just a fraction. Enough for our eyes to meet. I told myself I wouldn’t, but my body runs on a separate wavelength from my brain.
Devin’s gaze falls to my lips, and they tingle with anticipation. Does he feel the same palpitating tension I do? He has to. My tongue sneaks out, wetting my bottom lip, hopeful. But then his stare swings back to the movie and remains. Denied.This is why we weren’t supposed to look at him, body.
And yet, as the movie runs, Devin doesn’t move away. The brush-off bruises, but I try not to let it ruin our lazy day. His head lowers to the top of mine, his hand never leaving my leg. My hand slows its strokes and curls around his. It’s a good thing I’ve seen this movie a dozen times because I haven’t heard a word they’ve said since he touched me. Soon his breathing evens out, his fingers relaxing on my thigh, and after our active morning, I follow suit.
The chime of electronic bells stirs me awake.
My hand blindly swipes the comforter beside me as I reach for my phone. An arm holds my waist hostage, and the more I wriggle and search, the tighter his grip becomes. Having sunk further into the mattress, Devin’s arm drapes around me, cinching me against his chest.
Fingertips tapping the cool edge of my plastic case, I pick my phone up and squint at the accept button. “Hello?”
“Nova, finally.”
“Logan?”
“Yes, who else would it be?”
I clear the sleep from my voice. “Why are you calling me?”
“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days. You haven’t returned my texts or replied to my comments.”
Rubbing my tired eyes, I sit up, Devin’s arm sliding to my hip. “For good reason, jackass.”
“How long are you going to punish me? We were broken up, Novarina. That should take me off the hook.”
Ugh. I hate it when he calls me that. “You slept with my best friend, Logan. There is no time when that’s acceptable.”
“I was so drunk that night. I would’ve slept with Brenden if I thought he had boobs.”
“Your best friend instead of mine? This isn’t helping your cause. I’m hanging up.”
“No,please. Nova.” The desperation in his voice stills my hand. “I miss you. I miss you so damn much. Just talk to me. I’m begging you.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Devin’s arm slides off me as he rolls away, and I miss his heat. I glance in his direction, and he’s staring at me from the pillow, his eyes unreadable.
“Say that you’ll at least hear me out. We’ve known each other since sixth grade. Our history has to mean something, doesn’t it?”
I can’t hold Devin’s empty stare. “You don’t think I’ve thought about that? Logan, that was the hardest part of all of this. I didn’t just lose a boyfriend. I lost a best friend. Not to mention we share so many of the same friends, and you’ve made a fool of me in front of them.Twice.”
“You know I didn’t know Brenden was filming me when we broke up. He already got his ass handed to him by me.”
“It doesn’t even matter if you knew. You dumped me in front of your friends, letting them pump you up. A witness to my heartbreak. Over the phone!”
“I know, I know. And I’ve regretted it since that day. I was a coward and needed their moral support, but that’s no excuse. If I could go back, I’d do it all differently. Everything.”
The mattress shifts, and when I peer over, Devin’s gone.
My knees bend, my head dropping forward onto them. “Don’t you dare say you regret breaking up with me.”
