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I curse, picking up my running speed. I have no excuse. None other than Nova’s made herself at home in my head, and we’re nearing Oregon. I have three or four days max to make a decision or let sleeping dogs lie. I curse again, pushing my legs harder, faster, longer until I’m keeled over emptying my stomach’s contents on the weeds and grass beside the gravel path. Then I run some more.
Nova’s pouring a glass of orange juice when I enter the kitchen shirtless and covered in dried sweat and dust. Even though it’s closing in on noon, her hair is piled in a knob on top of her head like she just rolled out of bed. She’s in those flimsy sleep shorts and an oversized sweatshirt that swallows her thin frame. Our eyes meet before hers drop to my chest and then back, but she doesn’t say a word, and neither do I. Not that I could. I’ve been outside for hours, alternating between walking, jogging, and running for my life as my mind worked overtime. I’m minutes from dropping to the floor and dying of thirst.
Rounding behind her, I open the fridge for a bottle of water. When she turns to put the juice jug back, she bumps into me and mumbles, “sorry,” but won’t look at me, doesn’t even wrinkle her nose at my stench, before spinning to the island.
As I unscrew the cap and press the rim to my lips, I lean against the opposite counter. Facing Nova’s back, I wait for her to further acknowledge me. Those dancer legs are on display, testing me, the hem of her shorts barely visible beneath her sweatshirt. Her shoulders tense, her spine rigid, the weight of my stare is driving her crazy.Good. Because she drives me crazy.
I down nearly the entire bottle before she swivels around. “Is Claire a good kisser?”
Interesting opening question, but I’ll run with it. “I’ve had worse.” I shrug, getting a better look at Nova’s face. Her usual spark is gone, replaced with weary eyes and a frown.
She scoffs, setting her empty glass in the sink before heading toward the stairs.
Her impending dismissal sets me off. “Why do you even care?” Nova pauses but keeps her back turned. “You were considering taking Logan back yesterday, and an hour later, you were flirting with Anders all night.”
She whirls around. “What are you talking about? I wasn’t going to take Logan back. I was debating forgiving him and clearing the air. And Anders and I are friends. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”
I grab a second bottle of water. “He doesn’t see you as a friend, Nova.”
Popping her hip, she plants a hand there. “Well, we weren’t the ones making out in dark corners and then leaving without saying a word to anyone else.”
“Why are you so hung up on this?” I round the island, and her gaze again drops to my chest before coming back to meet my stare. Her cheeks turn pink when she catches my knowing smirk. “So I kissed Claire. Big deal.”
“You still weren’t home when I went to bed last night. Don’t think I’m that naïve, Devin.”
“I don’t know why I’m explaining myself to you, but nothing more happened. What would it matter if it did? Kissing doesn’t mean a thing to me.”
A twinge of hurt flashes in her eyes, her mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Then why do it?”
I can’t help the terse laugh. “Just because I feel nothing doesn’t mean my other head doesn’t.”
“Oh my gosh. No. Please stop.”
“Stop what? You’re the one making this a thing.”
“Because I thought we…” She clamps her jaw shut and conceals any hint of vulnerability. “Look, it doesn’t matter. I’m going to lay down. I don’t feel good.”
“No. Finish that sentence. Woman up, Spitfire.” I move in front of her when she attempts to escape. “You thought we what?”
Nova’s jaw clenches, her hands at her side forming fists. I stay quiet, daring her to speak.
She squares her shoulders, and I can’t help staring at her mouth. Free of lipstick or even gloss. Just her natural pale pink bow lips. Did Anders get a taste of them last night? They were close enough. She gave him plenty of chances. If I was in his shoes, I can’t say I wouldn’t have taken advantage.
“I thought we had something. I don’t know what, but something. We fell asleep together yesterday, then you did a one-eighty. I thought we were having a good time watching movies and…” Her shoulders drop.
Yeah, I don’t know what to call yesterday, either. Saying we cuddled sounds so juvenile when I was restraining myself from flipping her on her back and pinning her hands above her head the entire time. Those damn nails of hers tickling my arm was torture. Pleasurable torture. It’s a freaking miracle I kept my hand planted on her thigh and didn’t allow my fingers to wander where they wanted to go.
“Do you want to know why I kissed Claire?” I step closer, and her big blues widen. “Because I knew it would mean nothing.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
Wetting my lips, I exhale through my nose, and my Hoka’s tap her bare feet. “You’re the first girl I’ve wanted to feel something for, Nova.”
Her quick intake of air fans the simmering embers.
“If I kiss you, I mean,reallykiss you, I think it could be different, and feeling something messes with my head.”
“What are you so afraid of? I told you I’m not expecting commitment. This trip is supposed to be fun. I’m not asking you for anything.”
