AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That isn’t how I envisioned seeing you again for the first time.” My thumb darts over my shoulder. “I hoped it would be different.” She stares, so I press on. “Um, I heard about your Grandpa passing. I’m sorr—”
“So, you’re okay?” Nova rolls her shoulders back, her gaze scanning me from head to toe, and the light of the streetlamp catches on a glass pendant around her neck. “I mean, I can admit to having looked you up to see if you were on the roster for Cal State, so I knew you were alive. But back then… I called. I texted. You ghosted me.”
I rub the back of my neck, stepping closer. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s been over two years. A single text would’ve been better than nothing. I was really worried about you, Devin.”
“I know.” I do, but I can’t fully concentrate on her words. A gold-rimmed hexagon hangs from her necklace, and what’s inside holds my attention.
“Do you know? Do you know what I thought? How I ran outside in nothing but a sheet, searching. I called your mom maybe a hundred times.”
“Nova.”
“Don’t.” She holds up a hand. “I nearly called the police because I didn’t know what you might do to yourself.” It’s no surprise she worried I was a danger to myself. There was a short time—when I’m honest with myself—where I can say I was. “I sat in that motel waiting for hours thinking you’d come back. It took seven before Willa returned my call and told me you were okay. That’s all I got. ‘He’s safe, Nova.’ Her answer hasn’t changed in two years.”
I wince. “I’m sorry. I know what happened put a wedge in your friendship, but she wasn’t trying to hurt you, Nova. She was trying to protect me.”
The wind picks up, and I swear a hint of vanilla and sugar hits my nose as I search for an explanation. Nova tugs the collar of her coat around her neck, but not before I distinguish the flower I picked at that flower farm in Washington, pressed and dried in the pendant of her necklace. My eyes dart up, and like it dawns on her, she yanks her collar fully closed, fastening the top button. As much as I’d like to ask her about it, I’m walking on thin enough ice.
“I’ve replayed that night and all of the ways I could’ve done things differently so many times. Leaving without a word was a dick thing to do.”
A sharp, humorless laugh huffs out, her breath wafting in the frozen air. “I’ll say. I realize I said we didn’t have to be something, but I didn’t set out to be a one-night stand.” She combs a hand through her hair, her eyes darting away from me. “You might’ve been with other girls before me, but if it wasn’t clear that night, you were my first. It meant something to me.”
My girlfriend is sitting back at the bar, but still, I admit, “It meant something to me, too.”
“You sure had an interesting way of showing it.” Nova’s hurt and betrayal levels me. “I struggled for so long with guilt. After what happened that night… I should’ve stopped us. I should’ve told you no. Had I known you were going to leave me in the middle of the night, I would have.”
“You have nothing to feel guilty about. It was wrong of me to bury my pain by using you. It was wrong of me to bolt. I did everything wrong that night.”
“Yeah, considering I was fully aware of everything I was doing.” Her fingers search for her bracelet again, her comfort that’s no longer there. “Unbelievable,” she whispers. “You know, there are so many other ways you could’ve told me you didn’t want me.”
“God, Nova. No.” I step closer, wanting nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand, hold her, but I refrain. “You don’t understand. That night meanteverything. More than I know how to tell you.”
“Do you love her?”
“What?”
“Palmer. How does she feel about you chasing after me?”
My mouth working like a fish, I try catching up to Nova’s string of thoughts. “I care about her, of course. She’s a good person. But, Nova, I can’t… I know it doesn’t make sense, but I need you to know, being with you is what saved me. I still think about you. That night. Our trip. All the time. I just—” My eyes raise to the sky. “I had so much going through my head, and that’s no excuse for how I treated you, but between my mom meeting me in Oregon and Tara—”
“Devin.” Palmer’s voice travels in the wind, and I still.
Nova’s gaze falls beyond me. “Look, if you need some absolution, you have it. I’ve moved on. And duty calls.” Spinning on her heel and looking both ways, she dashes across the street.
“Wait.”
Palmer looping her arm through mine keeps me from chasing after Nova. “Everything okay?”
“Hey.” A chill runs up my spine for the first time since running outside without my coat. “Yeah, it’s fine. Sorry I took so long.”
* * *
“Hey,” Willa calls from upstairs as Palmer and I step inside her and Archer’s split-level home. She looks up from rolling dough on her kitchen island when my head pops into view as I climb the stairs to the main floor. “The kids are so excited you two are spending tonight here. How was…”
I turn, ignoring her, as Palmer’s heeled boots strike the steps. She heads downstairs rather than following me. “Palmer?”
When she greets Archer and his boys in the game room instead of replying, followed by the closing of a door, I admit defeat.
