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I’d texted him back.
Me: What’s the second?
Alec: Our baby.
Me: I’ll give you an answer.
This time it wasn’t about my place being unsafe for a baby. He says he has feelings for me, and he would love us to be a family. I’m very tempted to say yes. I’m falling in love with Alec, and the thought of him being the last face I see every night and the first one I see in the morning is very appealing.
The server brings my coffee, and after stirring in the sugar, I carefully take a small sip. Ah, coffee. I’d forgotten how good it tastes after so many months without it. I wait for my stomach to lurch, but nothing happens. I let out a sigh of relief. I’ve missed my coffee, and I’m grateful that it’s not making me feel sick.
It’s a day filled with good stuff. I sit contentedly sipping my coffee until Jane strolls in, looking like the successful professional woman she is. She smiles when she sees me, but I notice the smile doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Hi, Ivy,” she says and then sits down opposite me.
“Hi,” I say my confidence dipping a little.
The server comes around, and she orders strong black coffee. I take that as a bad sign, and now my stomach feels like expelling the coffee I just drank.
As I tend to do when I’m nervous, I start to ramble. “The book is coming along nicely,” I offer even though she hasn’t asked. I go on about how my characters are evolving.
Jane listens with a polite smile but does not voice an opinion. I shut up when the server brings her coffee. She drinks hers sugarless.
She takes a few sips and then places the cup back on the saucer and meets my gaze. “I don’t have good news,” she says.
My heart gallops in my chest. Things have been going so well until I’d started to believe that I’d finally made it. “Tell me.”
“Well, the publishing company wants to release you from the contract. Which means they won’t want the advance back,” Jane says, looking as if she would give anything to be somewhere else.
“What do you mean they want to release me from the contract? I don’t want to be released.”
Jane stares at me with sympathy in her eyes. “They’re having some financial challenges, and they want to go lean for a while. They want to remain with just a few authors.”
Fear settles in the pit of my stomach. I have a baby to think about; I want to scream.
“Oh, God.”
She reaches across the table to pat my hand. “I read the latest chapters you sent, and they were fantastic. I’m confident that we’ll get another publisher. Don’t give up.”
How can I not when it took Jane months to find the present publisher? I smile bravely. “Okay. I’ll keep writing and believing.” I don’t feel the words coming out of my mouth. I want to burst into tears and then bawl like a baby. I watch Jane as she finishes the rest of her coffee. She pays for the coffee while apologizing for the rush. She leaves, and I trudge out after her several minutes later.
It feels unreal that I just lost my publishing contract. I feel small and vulnerable. What about my baby? How will I take care of a baby without work? Jane was sure that she would get another publisher. She’s been in the business for many years, and when she says she can, I have to believe that I can.
I’m disappointed when I find Peter in the living room when I get home. This is the one day when I really need to be alone.
“You’re not okay,” he says as soon as I enter.
I sigh and collapse on the sofa. “I lost the contract.” I try to sound braver than I feel. “But Jane is confident that we can get another publisher, so I’m not losing hope.”
“Oh Ivy, I’m sorry, I know how excited you were,” Peter says. He knows me too well.
“Yeah.”
Peter is silent for a moment. “My offer still stands. Marry me, and I’ll take care of you and the baby.”
I look at him fondly. “You’re just about to take on a new job. How will you be able to support us?” I ask the question in jest, but Peter takes it seriously.
“I have a nest egg. My godmother gifted me a good sum of money not too long ago,” Peter says.
