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"I couldn't tell anyone, or the deal was void. I've been lying to everyone for months. This is my fault."
I begin to pace, my paranoia becoming more and more prominent, "Oh my God," I growl, pacing the floor, "This was his plan all along to get rid of me. To force me into this and threaten my family so when you finally saw your plan through, it would be me that was arrested in front of you."
Judson sits up straighter in the bed, "Jameson, you can't tell anyone about this. I need to talk to Carter. I'm sure Ryan will try to pin the entire thing on you. Don't talk to anyone."
A sick feeling lurks in my stomach, "This is my fault, Jud. He came after you because I didn't show up to do the drop. I thought you were still in Atlanta, so I bailed, thinking that I'd handle it when he came after me. I thought everyone was accounted for and safe."
Judson interrupts my rant, yanking my arm to stop my pacing, "Jay, stop. It's not your fault."
I continue, spilling the words out, "He promised me for weeks that it would be over soon. He fucking lied! He was biding his time to pull one over on you!"
"Would you keep it down?" He whispers, "He was going to come after me whether you were arrested or not. That was just another way to get to me."
I don't respond. My brother almost died because I couldn't follow through on the deal. He says it isn't, but it's my fault.
Judson interrupts my thoughts, "Do as I say and don't speak a word of this to anyone. We will protect you. I've already sent Carter a text."
I take a deep breath, remembering Blakely is here, "Blakely is in the waiting room."
"What?" He shuffles around, sitting up straighter in the bed. "She wasn't sure you'd want to see her, but she's here if you want to."
His brow twists, the biggest smile spreading across his face, "Tell her to run, don't walk."
I chuckle a bit, finding his sense of humor in this terrible situation amusing.
We've both fucked up. We pushed Hanna and Blakely away, and for what?
Blakely still ended up injured. Judson still ended up in the hospital. Blakely and Judson have been separated unwillingly for a year, and the only girl who makes me feel alive doesn't trust me.
Seems like it all blew up anyway.
