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My confession slips into the air quicker than I could ever anticipate, causing an instant head jerk in my direction from Karly.
"I'm pregnant."
She just stares at me, her jaw sitting on top of her boobs, "What?"
"You heard me." I grit my teeth.
"You're pregnant?"
"Shhh!" I growl, "Tell the whole damn beach, why don't you!"
"Uh, Hanna. Are you sure? I mean, you aren't just late because of stress?"
I let out an aggravated laugh, "Ha! Don't I wish! No, I'm definitely pregnant. The doctor isn't usually wrong."
She sits up straighter, "You've already been to the doctor! Why didn't you tell me you goof?"
I wipe a tear from my cheek, "I don't know. I'm still not sure how I feel about it."
"Wow. I thought you were on the pill."
"I was, apparently when you take antibiotics, it can mess it up. I had no idea. I never needed to worry about it because I wasn't having sex."
She looks to the ground, "Didn't Jameson ever wrap it up?"
"No, we never did," I admit, feeling a little irresponsible. "He's gone, Karly, and I can't tell him. I can't be a mom!"
She pulls me into her body, her embrace comforting me more than she knows, "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
"It's going to be okay," She assures, "At this point, we can just raise the baby together. People can think we are lovers."
She makes me choke out a laugh, "You are stupid, but I love you."
"I know you do, I love you too, and we will be okay. All three of us."
Letting Ellie go with Jameson was difficult for me. It wasn't easy to watch her walk away without me while holding the hand of the only man that has ever completely destroyed me. I've spent every day for the past six years adoring her. After the initial shock of my pregnancy and getting past the fear, I was ready for her. I felt like she was the piece of Jameson I got to keep.
Blakely and I lay by the pool, talking about her pregnancy. She insists that it's a girl, telling me about all the old wives' tales she's done. We talk for a while about what names she and Judson have picked out. She wants to know how things are going with Jameson and Ellie connecting.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jay being Ellie's father."
She looks down, her fingers tapping nervously on her belly, "Yeah, I understand why you didn't. I know Jay left in a hurry and that he walked out on you guys, but his heart was in the right place. He didn't want you to be constantly pulling him out of the darkness he was in. Now that he got himself out and it doesn't own him anymore, I think he's back to the same guy we both knew."
I slam back into the lounge chair, putting my hand over my forehead, "I should've just told him. Maybe it would've changed everything."
She sits up, grabbing my wrist, "Or maybe it would've made everything worse. You just have to trust that things turned out the way they were supposed to."
I pull her into a tight hug, it sounds crazy, but I've always looked at Blakely as a big sister I never had. She always gave me the advice that my mother couldn't spare, and I know she's helped Jameson more times than I could count.
"How are things with Eric?"
A ping of guilt settles in the bottom of my stomach. I haven't thought about Eric one time since I stepped off the plane.
"We're good. He was more understanding than I thought he was going to be about this whole situation."
She smiles, spraying an abundant amount of sunscreen on her legs, "He's a good one."
