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I know it won’t happen overnight, but it’s time to throw off the shackles of my past. Time to seize life and start living it with the only woman I’ve ever loved.
CHARITY
I don’t sleep. I toss and turn, my thoughts on Ryder. Was I too harsh? Does he hate me? I bared my soul this afternoon, and he stood there like a statue. I love him. Always will. But I want someone who loves me the way I love him, and I won’t settle for anything less.
Eventually, I cry myself to sleep and wake the next morning exhausted and puffy-eyed. I drive to work on auto-pilot and busy myself with getting everything ready for filming the final scene. I just need to get through the next few hours, and then I’m on a flight to Vermont.
The thought of seeing my parents lifts my spirits. There’s nothing like the love and hugs from Mom and Dad. I’m sure Ryder will be returning to Vermont for the holidays, and I’ll see him at some point. He usually stops by to see Mom and Dad, who think of him as a son. I’ll deal with that when I get there.
The fact that Ryder hasn’t tried to find me hurts. I haven’t glimpsed him once this morning. The tiny part of me that hoped he’d come racing in and sweep me off my feet withers and dies.
“Charity?” Luca calls, pulling me from my thoughts. “We’re done with the tree now.”
I nod at him and smile. I guess that’s a wrap—not only on the movie but on any chance of a future with Ryder.
Three hours later, I board the plane to Vermont and close my eyes, trying to push away the forlorn hope that Ryder might change his mind and turn up at the airport at the last minute, like in some romantic movie.
But as the plane taxis and takes off, I come to terms with a future without him—not how I wanted, at least.
It’s time to forget what could have been and focus on Christmas with my family and the kids at the hospital. I wonder if I can find anyone to fill Luke’s suit this year, but if not, I’ll do it on my own again. I know Luke will be with me in spirit, and that’s all that matters.
The plane lands, and I get off to be greeted by my parents, waving a sign with my name. I laugh at them and their silly joke, but as I get closer, the tears I’ve been holding at bay finally win, and the floodgates open.
Dad takes my bag and gives me a hug before turning and walking a couple of steps ahead so Mom can talk with me.
“Darling, whatever’s the matter?”
“Ryder doesn’t love me.” I don’t need to say anything else. I think my parents knew how I felt about Ryder before I did.
“Oh, my baby.” She hands me a tissue from her purse and holds me close as we exit the airport and head for the car.
“I honestly thought that boy would come to his senses,” Dad says, shaking his head.
I laugh at Dad’s description of Ryder as a boy.
“Come on. Let’s get you home. Supper and a good night’s sleep, and you’ll be ready for those kids at the hospital in the morning,” Mom says, hugging me tightly.
“No matter what happens, remember that you’re the sunshine in so many people’s lives, including the kids at the hospital,” Dad says, his voice gruff.
I nod and squeeze Dad’s hand, fighting tears again.“I love you guys.”
“And we love you. Come rain or shine.”
Ten
CHARITY
Iarrive at the hospital bright and early, dressed in my elf costume with a sack full of presents. The kids adore the annual ritual, and I’m glad I can bring a smile to their faces on this Christmas morning.
Mike, the ward doctor, is dressed as Santa, and we move from bed to bed, handing each child a present and watching the excitement on their little faces as they tear the wrapping from their gift. I think of Luke, allowing thoughts of him to warm me, remembering how he would have the kids in stitches doing a silly dance or performing a terrible magic trick. The memories still carry an edge of grief, but more than that, they’re comforting and make me feel as if Luke is still here in spirit.
Of course, Ryder is also never far from my thoughts. No text, no phone call, nothing. I’m not even sure if he’s back here in Vermont or if he stayed in—
“Charity, it looks like you do have some help this morning, after all,” Mike says, pulling me from my thoughts. His eyes are full of laughter as he looks over my shoulder.
I turn to look, and what I see steals my breath.
Ryder is marching toward me, looking like the biggest elf Santa ever chose to be his helper. He has big red circles paintedon his cheeks, and his skin and hair sparkle with glitter. It’s clear he’s wearing Luke’s old costume, as it’s too small for his big frame. The top strains over his wide chest and shoulders, and the sleeves and legs are too short. He looks . . . ridiculous. And so very wonderful to my greedy eyes.
