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I laugh before the pain in my heart reminds me of our last conversation. My laughter strangles in my throat, and I clamp my mouth closed.
“Oh, look, kids. Another of Santa’s elves is here to help,” I say with as much false cheer as I can muster.
Avoiding Ryder’s eyes (is he wearing glitter eyeshadow?) I point at the sacks at the nurses’ station. “Grab one of those as you pass.”
Then I return my attention to a little girl, Lottie, who is so very pale, and smile.“What would you like from Santa this year, sweetie?” I ask softly.
“Well.” Lottie looks at her mom sitting in the chair at her bedside. “I asked for a dollhouse.” She drops her gaze to her small hands, fidgeting with a doll. Her voice drops to a whisper. “But really, I want my leg to get better so Mommy can be happy too.”
These kids never cease to astound me with their bravery, and I swallow the enormous lump in my throat.
“You’ll be out of here in no time, Lottie,” Mike says with a big smile. “That leg is healing great, and you’ll be back to your gymnastics in no time.”
I blink away the tears, handing her a small, wrapped gift. I know she’ll like it because my mom is amazing and asks the parents in advance. Then she pops their name on it when she wraps them, so I know which gift to give.
I’m ultra-aware of Ryder as he comes to stand beside me.“Uh, this is Santa’s newest elf, Ryder. Santa sent him away from the North Pole because he was naughty.”
Lottie’s eyes open wide as she stares at Ryder. “What did he do?”
“He ate all the peanut brittle Mrs. Claus made especially for the reindeer.” I risk a glance at Ryder, who has the decency to look contrite.
“It’s okay. Santa doesn’t stay mad for long, and I’m sure they’ll forgive him soon enough,” I whisper conspiratorially to Lottie.
We make our way around the rest of the children, each so grateful for their gift. Ryder talks to the kids and has them laughing at his lame jokes. This is a different side of him, and I wonder what prompted the change. I have so many questions.
Once we’re done, we fold up our empty sacks, and Ryder and I move toward the nurses’ break room.
I look at him fully for the first time since he turned up so unexpectedly, and the intensity of his gaze turns my knees to butter. “Why are you here?”
He takes a step closer. “Because I love you. And I figured this was the best way to show you.”
RYDER
Charity’s mouth drops open. “I . . . You love me?”
I nod, taking another step closer. “It took everything in me to stay away from you yesterday, but my plan to show you how I feel about you depended on it. I needed to make a statement, and it needed to be big, memorable, and personal to you. Something that could only happen here in Vermont.”
Charity’s eyes shimmer with tears. “You dressed in Luke’s elf costume and covered yourself in glitter for me?”
“For me. For us. For the kids. To honor Luke and to tell you that everything you said was true. I’ve allowed guilt to dictate mylife for too long. I don’t want to live that way anymore. I want to be with you, love you, and have you love me for the rest of our days if you’ll have me. I’ve been your friend and protector, but now I’m standing before you as the man who loves you more than anything. And I’ve never been so scared that it won’t be enough for you. ThatIwon’t be enough.”
Tears pour down Charity’s cheeks, running through the rosy circles she’s drawn there. She’s never looked more beautiful to me, dressed in her elf costume with her makeup smudged and glitter in her hair. She may be dressed as an elf, but she’s always been my angel.
“You’vealwaysbeen enough for me, Ryder. But it killed me that you weren’t enough for yourself. That you didn’t value and love yourself the way Luke did. The way we all do.”
“You’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met, Charity. Your name fits you perfectly—giving, kind, and loving. Your joy of life kept my heart from freezing over. Feeling anything was too damn painful after Luke, but you kept me going, Sparkles. And it’s more than physical. It’s the connection with the one person who understands you better than you understand yourself. You keep me grounded. You give me a sense of peace I haven’t experienced for years. And if you give me another chance, I’ll never take those gifts for granted again.”
Charity shakes her head in disbelief. “I . . . But what about our jobs? Most of my work is in L.A., but your company is here in Vermont.”
“Then I’ll move to L.A.,” Ryder states. “I don’t care where I am so long as we’re together. I can hire someone to keep an eye on things here and set up another branch in L.A. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make sure you’re in my life.”
With a sob, Charity launches herself at me, and then my mouth is on hers as I wrap her up in my arms. I kiss her with all the hunger and yearning and love inside me, pouring it into herand allowing her love to fill me in return. It’s so much more than a kiss. It’s an act of healing and renewal. It’s the joining of two souls who’ve eventually found their way to each other.
I’m vaguely aware of cheers and giggles when we finally break apart, and Charity’s cheeks grow even redder as she realizes we have an audience.
“Santa’s elves are making out,” one of the kids giggles.
I chuckle as she buries her face in my throat with an embarrassed groan.
